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<DIV><FONT face=Arial>Kudos to Rizardo for an entertaining trist leading up to
Gothic Wars... Even as me and my daughter pack in prepapration for the weekend,
we're still laughing about the story line (and the names lol)... It is this type
of intellectual endeavor that really does make these kinds of events worth
while, and he should be applauded for putting in the time and the effort.
Mundanely, I'm a reporter and photographer for the Big Spring Herald, so I
know just how tough the news biz can be ;)</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>Ld. Logan Macleod of the Clan Macleod</FONT></DIV>
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style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial">----- Original Message ----- </DIV>
<DIV
style="BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; FONT: 10pt arial; font-color: black"><B>From:</B>
<A title=safiye1@hotmail.com href="mailto:safiye1@hotmail.com">Kathryn
Childress</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A title=western@lists.ansteorra.org
href="mailto:western@lists.ansteorra.org">Western Region Lists</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Thursday, August 28, 2008 9:38
AM</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> [Western] All News Releases from
Gothic Wars (long but funny)</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>Sending to Western list as well.... Post to Ansteorra list has
not yet arrived.<BR> <BR>S<BR><BR><BR>
<HR>
<BR>From: <A href="mailto:safiye1@hotmail.com">safiye1@hotmail.com</A><BR>To:
<A
href="mailto:ansteorra@lists.ansteorra.org">ansteorra@lists.ansteorra.org</A><BR>Subject:
All News Releases from Gothic Wars (long but funny)<BR>Date: Wed, 27 Aug 2008
22:36:54 -0500<BR><BR>
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Greetings All - The news room in Trelac has asked me to repost all of the
news releases from this summer pertaining to this weekend's Gothic
Wars. These have also been posted to the Gothic web
site at <A href="http://trelac.ansteorra.org/Gothic/default.htm"
target=_blank>http://trelac.ansteorra.org/Gothic/default.htm</A> Hope to
see y'all there. Enjoy! Safiye<BR> <BR>And now the
news.....<BR> <BR><BR>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">Some
background information: These news releases started as a result of
postings about the Gothic War between Bonwicke and Trelac in 2008.
Initial postings about the War dealt with Bonwicke building a wall and the
possibility that Trelac had vandalized it. Trelac was forming a new
civic guard at the time and their device was a donkey, so <B>donkeys
</B>factored into several of the emails. It was at this time, that I
responded an email about donkeys being involved with the following:
</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">“I am sorry,
apparently I have come upon these communications of late and they leave me
somewhat confused. All I can ascertain is that there seems to be some
unrest between our 2 great lands over a wall. <BR> <BR>Was it not
enough that we have lost many of the communities around us, that now two
of the great forces left in the former Western Region should also come to
blows. Is the Western Alliance at risk? Let us not cast stones (or
bricks) at our former brothers. We are too few in number and the
outside forces are too many. <BR> <BR>Still if trouble does
find us, I am heartened by hearing that we have a new Don within our
borders. As a rapier fighter, I am most interested in meeting this new
Don and seeing what he or she can teach us. Can someone direct me to
where this Don Keys resides? If civil unrest develops, we may need
his/her help. I can only hope he or she resides in Trelac and has enough
wisdom to not make an ass of his/herself over this
situation. </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">A subsequent
email was posted by Gerold in Blacklake claiming his home was burnt and there
was donkey poo smeared on the walls (implying Trelac was involved). At
this point I wrote the following 1<SUP>st</SUP> News Release. After that
the whole thing took on a life of it’s on. I hope anyone who reads this
enjoys it.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">In
Service</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">Rizardo
d’Artusio, Trelac Guardsman and Reporter for the “Trelac
News.”</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">1<SUP>st</SUP> News Release: Suspected Terrorist
Arrested Near Bonwicke Wall</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">The following
news report is brought to you by Godiva Chastity Belts. <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>Godiva</SPAN> reminds you to "Fasten up when you leave
home. The wife you save may be your own."</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman"> And Now
the News:</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">It has just
been learned by this reporter that a China-man who answers to
the name Won Flung Dung has just been apprehended by the Trelac Guard on
the region between Trelac and Bonwicke. Mr. Dung was dressed in the
clothes of a Trelac <SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts>tax collector</SPAN>, but
records show that Mr. Dung is not employed as such, and, in fact, does not
even reside within the Shire of Trelac. When questioned, Mr.
Dung claimed to have been hired by a Don Keys to collect money from
anyone he could get it from, and to raise general havoc within the region
between Trelac and Bonwicke. Mr Dung is now in the custody of the Trelac
guard where they are trying to remove the smell of Donkey poo from him and
verify the truth of his story. In the meantime an APB has been issued
for the where abouts of the mysterious Don Keys. Anyone who
has any information about Don Keys is urged to contact
authorities.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">2<SUP>nd</SUP> News Release: Won Flung Dung
Guilty of Impersonating Trelac Tax Collector</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">This news
update is brought to you by Trelac Stables. "In these unstable times,
isn't a nice to know you can count on Trelac Stables for your transportation
needs. Come in now to see our great selection of new and used
donkeys."</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">And now the
News: </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">In an earlier
story, it was reported and a Mr Won Flung Dung was apprehended by the
Trelac guard impersonating a Trelac <SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts>Tax
collector</SPAN>. While Mr Dung and his possible connection to Don Keys
is still under investigation, the question of how to identify official <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>tax collectors</SPAN> has been raised. This
reporter interviewed the Captain of the Trelac guard, a Lady
Muirghein, about this issue. Lady Muirghein is quoted as saying,
"Trelac is a poor shire and our government officials don't have official
uniforms at this time. In fact, we are so poor that there was no money
to provide horses for transportation. Our officials use
donkeys to get around on." So folks, if you see a governmental official
from Trelac, they will be sitting on their asses."</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">3<SUP>rd</SUP> News Release: High Feed
Cost a Problem for Trelac Guard</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">This news
flash is brought to you by "Hilltop <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>Armory</SPAN>." "Come in and see the fine
selection of swords, axes, armor at Hilltop. Remember, Hilltop is a cut
above the competition."</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">And Now the
News: </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">As the rumors
of possible war between Trelac and Bonwicke circulate, one unforeseen
consequence has been the soaring cost of horse feed. Horse feed has more
than doubled in recent months. Residents of both Trelac and Bonwicke are
complaining that the increased cost of feed has caused them to cut back on
unnecessary travel and alter vacation plans. The high cost of feed has
also effected the Trelac Guard. Guards spokesman, Rizardo d'Artusio is
quoted as saying: "The cost of feeding our donkeys has gotten so
high, that, in order to save feed, we are having to get off our asses and
walk more." </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">4<SUP>th</SUP> News Release: Donkey Gains in
Popularity.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">This news
flash is brought to you by "Abbott's Abbey." "Abbott's is aware
and sensitive to your need to sin in times like these, so Abbott's is running
a half price sale on indulgences this week. Remember, Abbott's
is always open to serve your sinning needs. When you think sin, think
Abbott's."</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">And now the
news:</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman"> The
shortage and high price of grain is continuing to have an economic impact on
the residents of Trelac and Bonwicke, resulting in increased demand for
donkeys. People are beginning to realize that the sporty donkey can go a
lot further of a bucket of grain than a horse. And, while it's true that
that you can't go as fast on a donkey, the cargo carrying capacity is nearly
the same. The increased feed savings is causing many people
trade their feed guzzling horses in on the economical donkey. Rizardo
d'Artusio, donkey enthusiast, added that with the donkey you also get a sporty
pen stripe down the back.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">Trelac
Stables reports that they are nearly sold out of new and used donkeys,
and that they are unable to get any more from their supplier, GMC.
When interviewed, the head mammal breeder for, GMC (General Mammal <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>Cooperative</SPAN>), Richard La Bouef, said that he
is aware of the donkey shortage and GMC has stepped up their breeding
program to produce more donkeys. The sudden popularity of donkeys has
taken GMC completely by surprise, and it is going to take them some time to re
gear up their breeding program for donkeys. La Bouef notes that it
wasn't that long ago the horses were the rage, and that the bigger the horse
the better. It wasn't only the knights that liked to be astride of
stallion. The large stallions were also popular with the ladies
(although they did seem to have more trouble parking them.)
</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">Noting that
people like the white donkeys and are willing to pay more for
them, La Bouef says that GMC is also making efforts to breed more
colorful donkeys. Right now donkeys only come in black, brown, grey
and shades there of, but GMC is currently working on a breeding
program to produce one that is slightly blue. If successful, GMC
plans to market it as the Eeyore.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">5<SUP>th</SUP> News Release: Local Merchants Up
in Arms</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">This news
flash is brought to you by The Boar's Head Tavern in Trelac. "Raining or
shining, we're always pouring. Come in tonight and let the friendliest
barmaids in the Shire pour you a draft of your favorite beer or
ale. Our ale is good for what ails you."</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">And now for
the news:</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman"> Local
merchants and artisans are up in arms. It seems that quite a few foreign
tradesmen and merchants have moved into the former <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>Western Region</SPAN> and set up shops along the
Bonwicke wall, forming a market of sorts. Area Scotsmen, true to their
thrifty reputation, have enthusiastically welcomed these new
merchants because of their low prices. But others,
including local merchants and artisans, claim that this "Wall Mart" is
destroying the local economy and flooding the area with cheap imported
goods. Several local merchants have already gone out of business since
the opening of "The Wall Mart," as it is being called, and more may
follow. </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">Agnes
Weaver of the local weavers guild, states "we can't even buy
the wool for what they are selling the completed product for."
Robert Wheeler who comes from a long line of wheel wrights, has already
laid off his two apprentices and may have to close shop entirely if things
don't improve. Wheeler claims his wheels last longer than the
foreign imports, but says that "now-a-days people are just looking at
price not quality, and the wheels at "The Wall Mart" cost less."
Wheeler adds, "It's a sad day when local tradesman can't make an honest
living, because of low cost foreign goods." He thinks the Kingdom should
do something to stop the import of cheap foreign products before it's too
late. "Before you know it we won't have anyone in the region that even
knows how to repair a wheel, much less make one. Then where will we
be? Without wheels, we won't have carts, and without carts we won't be
able to transport our goods except on the back of a donkey. When that
happens, we'll be just dragging our asses around all over the
place."</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">6<SUP>th</SUP> News Release: Graffiti Cleanup
Planned for the Bonwicke Wall</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">This News
Flash is brought to you by "The Weaver's Guild." "Don't be a "knit
wit" and let the foreigners pull the wool over YOUR eyes. "The
Weaver's Guild" has been producing quality woolens for over 100 years and
our workmanship is second to none. Foreign goods may be cheaper but
they won't last as long. Don't put a weaver out of work. Buy
local."<BR> <BR>And now the news:<BR> Since construction of the
Bonwicke wall, graffiti on it has become an increasing problem, and it is
beginning to spread to other walls and buildings as well. The graffiti
is not only unsightly, but there are those that believe that it is
contributing to further tensions between Bonwicke and
Trelac. Slogans like "My Baron Can Whoopeth your Baron," "Trelac
Sucks," "Bonwicke Bite Me," "Make War not Love," "Donkeys
Rule" and "Foreigners Go Home," are creating a "wall" of words that
some fear may spread into actual physical conflict. Therefore, concerned
citizens from both Trelac and Bonwicke have scheduled a cleanup effort
for next Saturday starting at noon. Volunteers are asked
to meet at the wall one hour before the cleanup to pick up buckets
and brushes and get their cleanup instructions. After the cleanup
effort, volunteers will meet back at the Boer's Head Tavern in Trelac for a
revel of free drinks and snacks.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">7<SUP>th</SUP> News Release: Beer Prices Have
People Worried</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">This news
flash is brought you you by "The Wall Mart." "Why pay more for
goods. "The Wall Mart" will not be undersold. We don't claim the
be the best, but we do claim to be the cheapest. If you find it cheaper
somewhere else, let us know and we will undercut our competitor's price and
sell it you you for 10% cheaper than they would."</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">And now the
news:</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman"> As
grain prices continue to rise, the cost of making beer is going up
as well. Beer is now is selling for 3 times what it did a year ago, and
beer drinkers in Trelac and Bonwicke are beginning to wonder if there will
come a day when they will now longer be able to afford this relaxing and
thirst quenching beverage. <SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts>John
Barber</SPAN>, local surgeon and barber says a beer shortage can have
serious side effects for society. After a hard day's work a man needs a
beer to relax. The relaxing and <SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts>digestive
health benefits</SPAN> of beer have long been known, and in Barber's opinion,
beer is the lubricant of society. Not having beer is going add a lot
more tension to an already tense situation in the <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>western region</SPAN>. Rumors are that some people
have begun to hoard beer. Money lenders have even begun to
speculate that bee, rather than gold, may soon be the basis for a <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>new monetary system</SPAN> within the region.
If so, this may give a new meaning to <SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts>liquid
assets</SPAN>.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">7<SUP>th</SUP> News Release: News
Correction</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">The "Trelac
News" would like to thank all those who wrote us about the errors in spelling
of the last "News Flash." Our spell Czech was on holiday and we had to
use the spell Pole again. </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">The sentence
that read "Money lenders have even begun to speculate that BEE,
rather than gold, may soon be the basis for a <SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts>new
monetary system</SPAN> within the region," should have read: "Money
lenders have even begun to speculate that BEER, rather than gold,
may soon be the basis for a <SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts>new monetary
system</SPAN> within the region," </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">We realize
that we forgot the er sound in beer, but remember, "to er is human, to
forgive is 'the wine,'" so please cut us some
slack. With the cost of beer being what it is, we may have to
rely more on "the wine."</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">8<SUP>th</SUP> News Release: Grain Prices
Fall</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">This News
Flash is brought to you by "The Trelac Guard" "The Trelac
Guard is looking for a few good men and women. If you think you have
what it takes to be a member of the "Guard" and wear the white and
blue, stop by our recruiting office in down-shire
Trelac."</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">And now the
News:</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">Residents of
Trelac and Bonwicke are overjoyed. Grain prices, high these many months
due to the threat of war between Bonwicke and Trelac have finally begun to
fall. A new granary, located between Bonwicke and Trelac, has just
opened this week and is offering great deals on grain. Manager Brian
Oats says the Blacklake <SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts>Granary</SPAN> has
an abundance of wheat, oats and barley at very reasonable prices.
Brewers, bakers, livestock producers, cooks and even housekeepers have
been begun lining up to take advantage of these great new grain
prices.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">When
interviewed as to what effects, if any, the new Blacklake Granary is having on
their business, John MacAdams of the Trelac Granary, said "We
don't know how they are doing it. Because of a shortage of
grain locally, the price we are paying for grain is more than they are selling
it for. Our grain sales this year have been extremely low, and, with the
added competition of 'Blacklake Granary,' our sales are now almost zero.
If things don't improve soon, we'll have to shut our operations down."
He added, "we've been in business for over 50 years serving the grain needs of
the <SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts>western region</SPAN>. Who would have
ever thought it would come to this."
</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">Residents are still speculating as to who
owns this new Blacklake granary, and why it has decided to locate to this
under populated region of western Ansteorra. People are also
wondering where the granary is obtaining their grain. An excessively hot
and dry summer in the western region has not been good for local grain
production, and local farmers, having barely enough grain to meet their
own needs, have had very little excess grain to sell.
</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">Although
these and other questions remain unanswered, for now residents of Trelac
and Bonwicke are just greatful that the price of grain has finally come
down.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">9<SUP>th</SUP> News Release: OCA Objects to Dung's
Imprisonment</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">This News
Flash is brought to you by: "Trelac Bakery" "Trelac Bakery
has been serving the baking needs of Trelac for over 50 years with the
finest selection of breads and baked goods. Trelac Bakery understands
that, as the Lady of the Manor, you may not always have time to bake
fresh bake-goods for your family and unexpected guests. If you find
yourself without a bun in the oven, don't despair. Come to Trelac Bakery
and get bread. Manager Richard Longfellow, says 'our buns are
always warm and ready to be served.'" </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">And now the
news:</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman"> In
an earlier story, it was reported that a One Flung Dung, "a person
of interest", was apprehended by the Trelac Guard in the vicinity of
Blacklake, where a number of terrorist acts had been committed, one of which
was the burning of the home of Centurion Gerold and the smearing of donkey poo
on it's walls. Dung admits to impersonating a Trelac <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>tax collector</SPAN> and says he was hired by a Don Keys
to collect money from anyone he could get it from, and cause general
mayhem in the western region, but has denied the burning of the Centurion's
house. To date, theTrelac Guard has been unable to locate the
mysterious Don Keys and verify the truth of Dung's story, and Dung has
been unable or unwilling to divulge any more information about the said Don
Keys or his whereabouts.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">OCA,
Organization of Chinese Ansteorans, having learned of the imprisonment of
Dung for over a month by the Trelac Guard without charges being filed,
have demanded his immediate release. The OCA states that Dung's human
rights have been grossly violated and his imprisonment is racially
motivated. While not denying that terrorist acts have been committed
along the wall, they insist that Trelac has the wong man.
</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">In response
to the OCA demands, Lady Muirghein, captain of the Trelac Guard, states
that Dung is a suspected terrorist and he will remain in the Guard's custody
indefinitely." She adds, "It is the duty of the Trelac Guard to
protect this shire from terrorists, foreign or otherwise. When she
was asked if Dung had been tortured to get information, she declined comment,
merely saying that Dung is being treated well enough given the seriousness of
his crimes.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"> </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">While
political pressure has been building from outside Trelac to free Dung, it
is not true that the local population is in favor of Dung's
release. It was mistakenly assumed that there was support for his
release in Trelac when signs started popping up around the Shire saying
"Free Dung." It was subsequently learned that the "Free
Dung" signs were merely advertisements from "Trelac Stables" offering to
give away free donkey manure. It seems that they have an over abundance
of the stuff and they were willing to give it away to anyone who would haul
it.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">10<SUP>th</SUP> News Release: Mass Hallucinations
Reported</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">This News Flash is brought to you by: "<SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>Ladies in Waiting</SPAN>." "Don't have
time to keep the castle as clean as you would like? Need extra help for
that special party coming up? 'Ladies in Waiting' can be the answer
to your prayers. No job is too small or too large for 'Ladies
in Waiting.' We can handle anything from cleaning the
dishes to cleaning out the moat' Give us a try.
We're 'waiting' to hear from you."</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"> And now the news:</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">Strange happenings and sightings have been the norm
this week in Trelac. Sightings of ghosts, dragons and the undead have
been reported all over Trelac to the Trelac Guard. <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>William Seymour</SPAN> reported seeing a herd of pink
donkeys parading through the shire. A number of people have
reported seeing the villain Ruspoli and his army roaming the
streets of Trelac, as well as large heavily armored
Trolls.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">In a more
serious incident, Trelac Guardsmen had to prevent <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>Mary Stewart</SPAN> from drowning her baby in a wash
tub. She apparently thought she was doing her laundry and kept
saying "the stain won't come out, the stain just won't come out" It
should be noted, however, that a similar incident incident involving
<SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts>Lady MacBeth</SPAN> running down the main street
waving a <SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts>butcher knife</SPAN>, chasing her dog and
shouting "out dam spot," was apparently not due to any kind of
hallucination. In her case, the dog had just consumed an
entire leg of lamb that was meant for the evening's
meal.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">It is now
believed that these hallucinations may have been due to people
eating tainted bread bought at the "Trelac Bakery." Brother Cadfael from
Abbott's Abby investigated the matter and said he suspects that moldy
wheat may have been the culprit. <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>Elizabeth Baker</SPAN>, employee from the bakery,
admitted that the wheat they used to bake the latest batch of bread was not
purchased from their regular vendor, Trelac <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>Granary</SPAN>. Instead, she said it was bought
from the "Blacklake Granary." She further admitted that the grain
smelled a little moldy, but she said that manager Richard Longfellow
told her it would be alright to to use it. She reported that
Longfellow said that people wouldn't even notice the slightly off flavor
of the bread and would instead be glad of the additional savings passed
on from buying the cheaper grain from
Blacklake.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT face="Times New Roman" size=3> Editorial
note: If you would like to read more about a true occurrence of mass
hallucination due to eating bread
contaminated with LSD from ergot fungus on grain, check out this
website:
</FONT><A href="http://www.hulford.co.uk/ergot.html"
target=_blank><SPAN style="COLOR: purple"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">
<SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>http://www.hulford.co.uk/ergot.html</SPAN></FONT></FONT></SPAN></A></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">11<SUP>th</SUP> News Release: War Machines Break
Down, War May be Averted.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">This news
flash is brought to you by: "Abbott's Winery" "High price of
beer got you down? Well don't worry, 'Abbott's Abbey and Winery' is here
to fill your drinking needs. Don't grape about the high cost of
beer--switch to wine. It'll get you just as drunk just as fast, and
remember, if you over indulge, Abbott's has extended their half price sale on
indulgences for another week. So drink up. You'll be
forgiven. Remember, you can have your sin and drink it too at
Abbott's."</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">And now the
news.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman"> It may
be good news for those who are worried that Trelac and Bonwicke
may go to war over the construction of the Bonwicke wall. We have just
learned that the <SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts>war machines</SPAN> of both
Trelac and Bonwicke have both coincidentally and simultaneously broken
down. </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">It seems that
the trouble with Trelac's <SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts>war machine</SPAN> is a
worn out baron. In the case of Bonwicke the problem seems to be a broken
chiang drive. The militia of Bonwicke are still trying to
come to Agrippa with the problem of the broken chiang drive, but at
this time replacement chiangs are not available even at
<BR>"The Wall Mart." </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">The outlook
for a repair of Trelac's war machine may be somewhat
more optimistic. Robert MacHine, local blacksmith from Trelac
thinks that applying some Di Greasi to the worn out baron will
correct Trelac's problem. </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">Only time
will tell whether either Trelac or Bonwicke can repair their war machines in
time for an impending war, or whether worn out barons and broken chiangs may
lead to peace once again prevailing the former <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>western region</SPAN>. Meanwhile, grain and beer
shortages, foreign competition and inflammatory slogans on walls make for a
continuing tense situation within the western region of
Ansteorra.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">12<SUP>th</SUP> News Release: Don Keys
Identified.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">This news
flash is brought to you by "Abbott's Winery" "Tired of your old
job? Abbott's is hiring entry level grape pressers for this year's
crop. Abbott's is a growth industry and there are opportunities for
those who do well at pressing to step up to other positions down the
road. --- Only those without foot infections need
apply."</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">And now the
news:</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman"> The
mysterious Don Keys has finally been identified. It seems that his real
name is Donald Keyes and he is well known in <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>England</SPAN> as an Irish ex-privateer and
businessman. Lord Keyes has been retired from the privateering business
for over a year now, but since his retirement, he has been pursueing his
business interests on land with the same ruthlessness he showed as a
privateer. </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">Taking the
small fortune he acquired as a privateer, he has amassed a business empire
which includes: import/export, grain production, breweries and arms
sales, just to name a few. It is also rumored that his personal guard
numbers in the hundreds. </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">The Trelac
Guard is most anxious to question Lord Keyes about his possible activities in
the western region and his association, if any, with suspected terrorist,
One Flung Dung, but so far Lord Keye's whereabouts are unknown. His
business associates and employees, when questioned by the
Guard, have refused to disclose any information about the recent location
or activities of Lord Keyes.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman">13<SUP>th</SUP> News Release: Bonwicke Court
Minister Murdered.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">This news
flash is brought to you by: "Jacques Penne's" "Is your tunic
a little tattered? Is that gown a little gone? Don't worry,
Jacques Penne' is having his semi annual clothing sale. Why not give
those <SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts>old clothes</SPAN> to the servants and drape
yourself in some new finery? Jacques has been <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>designing clothes</SPAN> for discriminating Lords
and Ladies for over 30 years. Come in and check out the new selection of
fabrics and styles from <SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts>Paris</SPAN> .
Remember, clothes make the man and Jacques makes the
clothes."</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">And now for
the News:</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">Yesterday the
residents of Bonwicke were shocked to discover that Lord Fun Shui, a trusted
minister in the Court of Bonwicke and personal advisor to Baroness Wu, was
stabbed to death in his chambers. When he was as found, he had
a knife protruding from his chest and in one hand he clutched in his
piece blue cloth and in the other a piece of
white. </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">Tensions are
running high right now in Bonwicke, and many people accusing Trelac of
being involved in Lord Shui's death. The fact that Lord Shui was a vocal
critic of friendly relations with Trelac, as well as the incriminating blue
and white cloth fragments, have led many to suspect Trelac was involved
in Lord Shui's death.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">It's
unfortunate and ironic that it wasn't that long ago that hostilities
between Bonwicke and Trelac had died down. The war machines of both
Bonwicke and Trelac were in need of repair and people were beginning to
suspect that a Lord Donald Keyes, ex-privateer and businessman from <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>England</SPAN> , might actually be the one
behind many of the problems in the western region. The
possibility that Lord Keyes was actually the one bankrolling
many of the new businesses that had just located in the western region
and were responsible for destoying local businesses, as well as the
accusations by a Won Flung Dung that Lord Keyes had hired him to illegally
collect taxes within the region, had led the Trelac Guard to try to locate
Lord Keyes and bring him to Trelac for questioning. The Trelac
Guard had just located Lord Keyes and he had agreed to accompany the Guard to
Trelac for further questioning, when he inexplicably disappeared day before
yesterday, and hasn't been seen since. </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">We may never
know for sure whether Lord Keyes was in anyway involved in Lord Shui's death,
but for now Bonwicke is ready to lay the blame at Trelac's door and it looks
like war may soon be declared. </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">This may be
the last news release submitted by this reporter, as he has been called up for
active duty in the Trelac Guard. See you at Gothic.
</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">Rizardo
d'Artusio</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444">14<SUP>th</SUP> News Release: Lord Keyes May be
in the Western Region</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">This late
breaking news flash is brought to you by: "Angelo's Marker's, Memorials,
and Monuments" "Angelo wants to remind folks that as the War
approaches, it's never too early to reserve a marker, memorial or
monument for that special someone who may not return. Angelo has
just received a new shipment of Italian marble, so don't wait until the last
moment, or until you know he's dead for sure. Come in and reserve
yours this week, and as an added incentive to the early shopper, Angelo will
throw in a death's mask at no extra charge."</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">And now the
news: </FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">It has just
been learned from a reliable source that Donald Keyes, the man long sought
after by the Trelac Guard, may now be in the western region. As was
reported earlier, the Trelac Guard had located Lord Keyes earlier this
week. At that time, Lord Keyes had agreed to accompany the Guard to
Trelac and answer questions about his connection to Won Flung Dung, illegal
tax collecting, and his sponsorship of several of the newly formed
businesses in the area. Just after agreeing to do so, however,
he suddenly disappeared. It wasn't long after Keye's
disappearance that Lord Fun Shui, a trusted minister in the Court of Bonwicke,
was found killed in his chambers.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Times New Roman">Suspicions
that Lord Keyes may now be in the western region are based on information
obtained from a confidential source that reports that a Sir Oz
Weepay just recently detained a suspicious ruffian in the the shire of <SPAN
class=EC_ecyshortcuts>Ffynnon</SPAN> Gath and, upon examining the ruffian's
pockets, found a note saying that: "you (the ruffian) are to round
up the rest of your associates and meet Lord Keyes at 'The Wall
Mart' this weekend." Our informant went on to say that Sir Weepay, on
behalf of the Crown, is now on the way to the western region of Ansteorra
with plans to talk to the Trelac Guard and investigate for himself the most
recent events surrounding Lord Keyes activities, the Bonwicke wall, and
the rumors of impending war.</FONT></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444">15<SUP>th</SUP> News Release: Lord Shui's
Murderer Arrested</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444">This news flash is brought to you by: </SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: black">"The Rome Inn" "When you find yourself roaming the
countryside and need a home away from home, drag your weary ass to
the 'Rome Inn.' There are no extra stable charges at the 'Rome
Inn' and we'll feed you and your ass a hearty oat meal at no
extra charge."</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts><SPAN
style="COLOR: black">And now the News:</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts><SPAN
style="COLOR: black">Apparently too late to stop a war between Bonwicke and
Trelac, Lord Shui's murderer has just been discovered and arrested by
the Trelac Guard. </SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts><SPAN
style="COLOR: black">It has now been learned that within just hours of the
discovery of the murder of Lord Fun Shui, a trusted minister of the
Court in Bonwicke, the Trelac Civic Guard contacted and arranged to contract
the services of Father Cadfael of Abbott's Abbey to investigate the
circumstances around the murder of Lord Shui. The Trelac Guard had
earlier enlisted the services of Father Cadfael to investigate the
possible poisonings of Trelac resisdents due to the consumption of moldy bread
from the Trelac Bakery. Father Cadfael is no stranger to solving
mysteries and has solved many mysteries during his stay at the Abbey.
One of the things that Father Cadfael immediately noticed when he investigated
the crime scene was that Lord Shui was fully dressed when he was killed,
except for the absence of shoes. As it was known that Lord Shui
possessed an especially beautiful pair of shoes that he was always seen
wearing, this seemed rather peculiar. A search of the premises also
failed to locate said shoes.</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts><SPAN
style="COLOR: black">As luck would have it, a stranger visiting Trelac only 3
days after the death of Lord Shui was spotted wearing the same said
shoes. Upon arrest by the Trelac Guard and after some "persuasive
questioning," Robert Cutter, as he later identified himself, admitted to
killing Lord Shui and stealing the before mentioned shoes. It seems that
Cutter has a bit of a shoe fetish himself, and could not resist such as
beautiful pair of shoes as those possessed by Lord Shui. Under further
questioning, Cutter revealed that Lord Donald Keyes had paid him to kill Lord
Shui and plant the incriminating blue and white cloth as evidence against
Trelac in hopes of starting a war between Bonwicke and Trelac. The
Trelac Guard is at this time desperately trying to locate Lord Keyes and try
to advert an unnecessary war between Bonwicke and
Trelac. But, as armies march forth to battle one another, it
may be too little too late.</SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"></FONT></FONT></SPAN> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><FONT size=3><FONT
face="Times New Roman"><SPAN class=EC_ecyshortcuts><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></SPAN><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </P>
<P class=EC_ecmsonormal style="BACKGROUND: white"><SPAN
style="COLOR: #444444"><FONT face="Times New Roman"
size=3></FONT></SPAN> </P> <BR><BR>
<HR>
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target=_new>Check It Out!</A><PRE>Internal Virus Database is out of date.
Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com
Version: 8.0.138 / Virus Database: 270.6.7/1628 - Release Date: 8/22/2008 6:32 PM
</PRE>
<P>
<HR>
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