[Ansteorra] Sheep Wars

Corey Van Zandt Sircorwin at hotmail.com
Thu Mar 9 06:55:45 PST 2006

Funny how things have worked out
I've awakened a Sinister old Dragon Foe with Clout
I could have forgave yet you called me a Knave
Now I have to behave as a Knight who goes into a cave
and Drag this Dragon out
from whence he doth hide and pout
to the sunlight for all to see
Now my (S)words STRIKE at thee...


Perhaps you do not remember, Your years are many...your Mind less limber
SO sit back and drink your stale loch ale and I will remind you of this less 
than tall Tale

Twas a young Bors centuries ago...nary a friend In Ansteorra nor a Foe
At a Banner wars the one before the last...many years ago, far back in the 
>From a bloodlust your greed once planted a seed, thus I found the NEED
to raise my FIRST Army to fight your greatest misdeed

In a Drunken haze you quite loudly did proclaim
to OWN the house of AMAZONS, your quest for fame was LAME
What meaning lie behind these words you did speak??
Perhaps whilst in your cups your Brains did surely leaK?
The mistake you made was clear
For Regina and Janais were near
and In your face the SISTERS threw
the challenge you just drew

You Agreed to settle next year on the field
Bringing all your men be they pike, archer or shield
A War sprung forth and your quest became
to raise an army and defeat the Amazon name
For a year you floundered, you were caught unaware
There are few words like AMAZON that makes a man scare
you found an AMAZON force stood behind every Man
at least the ones that matter when the battle is at hand

You see the Amazons are a warrior breed
breathing life into battles their only need
They are the ones Protecting the Dream
Even the Code of Chivalry sometimes it may seem
Making Wrongs into Rights and correcting misdeed
Supporting the fighters is their sole creed.

A year did pass and your men did Flee
No one would Fight Against Amazons for your fee
little did you know....my men stood by
Waiting in the field whilst you did cry
I watched you crawl on bended knee....and beg for life most pitifully
The Amazons forgave you the blunder
accepting Your gifts of pewter brooches and liquer as Plunder
A TOKEN was given by the HAND of BORS
Still held to this Day, quite possibly, for these wars!

>From the pages of Ansteorran history and under a Rock
Crawls a Crazy old Baron Bors of the Loch
Who wants my Prize Sheep for his sired Flock
Threatening my home, my bones and my stock
without on my door so much as a Knock?

Flossie is betrothed only to me
I alone have the magical key
to unlock her belt of chastity
Which I loan now and then to Master Ivar(for a fee)
No Man can keep me apart from my EWE
not even a Bors who likes to sling Poo

My army has Traveled and faught without stop
whilst you have grown FAT busy tending your Crop
On the field with my Clan RHOADD you CANNOT stand
I will Crush your feeble forces and divide up your Land
(though it will be hard for it is mostly sand)
*POOF*  a /zig\zag/  a bright flash of Red
Like Lightning I strike and then <<<ZAP>>> you are bled
I'm telling you it happens just like I've said
Just ask my last foe over there..Alas..nevermind..he is dead

Mind your thoughts, from your head they do seep
Away with your Flock You Wicked BO PEEP
I suggest you tend to your Hidious sheep
I warn you old man do not fall asleep
to your defence no sane man would leap
for there will be no one there to weep
As RHOADD storms through and ransacks your keep
And the Seed you have sown comes back to REAP

My (s)words strike deep right through your shield
now your fate is mostly sealed
for no mercy have I wield
Soon the Wheels of Rhoadd shall Roll
Amazons will call upon you to PAY YOUR Toll
lest me and my men come FOR YOUR SOUL
We'll Drop you down in a deep dark hole
or place you up high on a pointy stick Pole
Your honor your ownself did stole?


How can my Body be Broken
when alas there is this TOKEN?
of which I have already SPOKEN
 The Baron Bors must yield<<<OH YES>>>
I mean this not as a test
I assure you I meerly Jest
I want only a happy fight Fest
 yet the Baron Bors MUST yield<<<OH YES>>>
I imagine you are most livid
with your face all red and vivid
as your rhymes become insipid
 Thus YOU Baron Bors MUST YIELD!
For I AM,(SELF PROCLAIMED, mostly unmaimed) Victor on THIS field!<<<OH 


Sir Corwin von Xanten
Rhoadd Commander
A Protector of the Amazon Household

P.S.  No sheep have been harmed in the making of this Message.
Unto All you PETA people Lurking -->THis is not the message you were looking 
for...move along<--

P.S.S You Don't have to Eat the Green Eggs and Ham....you'll be far too full 
from all my SPAM.

 I'm proud of myself and my tribute to Suess...and I did it all without once 

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