crouchet at infinity.ccsi.com
Wed Mar 29 10:21:57 PST 1995
On Tue, 28 Mar 1995, I. Marc Carlson wrote:
> When someone tells you they don't want an award,
> treat them with enough respect to take them seriously. And you can always
> approach them down the road and find out if they've reconsidered.
> Dunstana Talana the Violet, OL
I find this is usually a reaction to the award being long overdue --
well, if I haven't gotten the award I just don't want it! -- although the
person often does not recognize this themselves. When people percieve
that they have failed at something they need to find a reason or even an
excuse. Sour Grapes is one that is commonly used.
Still, I agree that if a person says they don't want an award you should
not give it to them. They either really don't want it, are trying to
manipulate the system by turning down awards they think will slow their
climb, or have personal issues they need to resolve before getting this
I suspect that if folks knew that when they said "no awards" no one was
going to try to out guess them and give them one anyway it would be said
a lot less often, and then only by the folks who really mean it.
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