Peer Fear (was: Re: Peerage Stuff Re: Why I Hate Fencin

[Jeanne C. Stapleton]

> Kateryn, 
> I was once, absolutely terrified of the Crown.  These two people who
> rule our Kingdom, sitting up there on thrones, surrounded by Their
> entourage and all sorts of other important, powerful people coming
> up and conversing with Them. 

And quite often desperate for someone to talk to with something
interesting to say, not just for "someone important to talk to"!
I can nly speak for myself, but I say with a great deal of conviction
(and experience myself) that having something of interest to say
is 10,000 times more important than who you are.

We were discussing, while waiting in the freezing wind for our
peerage circles at al-Barran Midwinter last weekend, this "gap" 
between peers and populace: how big is it really, is it really worse
now than it was when we started, and what if anything should be
done without lessening the respect due, blah-di-blah.  I made the
observation, which was seconded, that I've made here in a perhaps
abbreviated form:  I inevitably gravitate towards the goers and 
doers, loving to be where the action is.  I don't consciously choose
between "behind the scenes" and "upfront"; I'll do dishes or herald
a grand processional, it matters not to me, and I'm more inclined to
choose the dishes if my voice is not good that day.  Has nothing to
do with shyness or wanting attention, it has to do with *wanting to
see that the best job gets done*.

Likewise, people have sometimes said to me, "well, all your friends
are peers"--as if I had deliberately scoped an OP and made friends
only with those on the first few pages of it.  Well, many of my 
friends have *become* peers since I've known them, because of their
own nature and interests.  Not my fault!  :-)


I live a few blocks from Their current
> Mag's and this has made me realize how truly human these people are.
>  I'm sure this goes for most, if not all crowns and probably the
> Peers also.  Their Mag's have a great sense of humour, can get wild
> and bawdy (I could tell you stories), love quiet moments, take
> responsiblity serioulsy (sp?), love to meet people, love their kids
> (also other people's kids), like to be creative, and, well you get
> my point, they're people.  Sadly, as high muckety-mucks
> (affectionate nick name), they don't always get the time to do the
> things they may wish, like talking to new people.....I figure that
> is part of the price of being the Crown.  Don't let it put you off. 

Hear, hear!

> Give them their due respect and courtesy (sp?) and remember there is
> time to meet them.  They're only Crowns for six months. 
> Peers.......well get someone to introduce you.  You probably won't
> say much to that person because you won't really know what to say. 
> But the next time you see them, make a point of saying hi.  You
> don't need to strick up a conversation discussing some in depth
> thing just because they're a Peer.

I'm sorry to be rattling on at such length, but work is really dead 
today...I'd say beyond even saying hi, ask them what their current
project is or how their trip to the event was, or any other question 
you'd ask any *normal* person (:-)).  

>  After saying hi a few times, seeing them at different events,
>  something will
> come up to provide a conversation with that Peer.  You'll soon
> discover, that they are humans also.  Have fun meeting people.  If
> you're like me, it just gives you warm fuzzies (oh my, we could go
> places with that one) when someone from a different place recognizes
> you, calls you by name and asks how you've been.  That's family.
> Lady Catrin Mac Cracken

I'd even say it's just enlightened, caring human beings.  Which we 
all are, right?  :-)

jstaplet at adm.law.du.edu
University of Denver
College of Law
Ext. 6288