Did anyone go to the Northkeep Investiture

I. Marc Carlson LIB_IMC at centum.utulsa.edu
Tue Nov 26 00:02:15 PST 1996


<Daniel de Lincoln<Tim McDaniel <tmcd at crl.com>>>
>As Master Robin once said to me in similar circumstances, "If you went
>around saying you deserved an award and everyone else disagreed,
>everyone would ignore you then too." (or words to that effect).  It
>readjusted my thinking somewhat.

How about going around saying that not only do I not deserve it,
but expressly insisted that I *didn't want it*, since I do not
meet the criteria I have set *for ME* regarding the title.

>Perhaps you can consider it something to grow into -- that is,
>something to live up to?

Yes, that was pretty much His Majesty's take on it as well.

Don't take this wrong, but this is, to me, akin to telling me that
my interpretation of the the title "Lord" means to *me* (as it applies
TO me) is wrong, and I might as well toe the party line.

I have some pretty "carved in stone" opinions about what behaviors should
constitute the rank of "Lord".  

I don't tell people how they should play the authenticity game, or
how they should behave as befits their rank, simply because my personal 
standards differ.  I don't think that it is unreasonable to ask for the 
same respect.

The lady who put in the letter of recommendation HAD this explained
to her in vivid, nauseating detail when she asked, but clearly decided
that I was wrong, she knew what was best for me, and that I should
be playing this game her way.

I appreciate the compliment, but I *really* don't appreciate having
my expressed wishes ignored.  

I'm fairly certain that I appear unreasonable, and ungrateful about
the whole thing., and God knows I'm not being gracious about it.  I'm 
sorry if it offends people.  But it IS how I feel about it.  I am far 
more *honored* by having people enjoy my work, find it useful, and
maybe, if I'm REALLY doing well, deciding that what I am doing is 
worth emulation, than I am by having I *truly* don't believe I deserve
thrust upon me.

Since I am stuck with it, I am trying to consider it a simple movement
into the Gentry, in much the same way that in history people such as
the Pastons and Shakespeare bought their way into a non-titular coats
of arms.  It may be a waste of time on my part, but I would prefer
that to failing miserably to act a part that escapes me completely.

I'm sorry for ranting.

Diarmuit



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