Rank and Title

[Timothy A. McDaniel]

Oh, what the heck, please let me toss my half-groat in.  (Or, if memory
serves, 1 1/3 dandiprats.)

According to Miss Manners, it is rude to give a gift which you know is
not welcome by the recipient.  An example might be donating in
someone's name to an advocacy group opposed to the person's views.
(Actually, that's even worse, because it's not even a gift: the person
doesn't receive anything.)  "It's for his own good" is no excuse -- it
actually compounds the offense, in that A is telling B that A knows
B's business better than B does.

She also says that it's rude to refuse or complain about an unwelcome
gift.  The proper thing is to summon your best acting abilities, thank
them kindly for the gift, and dispose of it *discreetly* at your
convenience.  It's what you do when your cat brings you half a mouse.
(OK, there are a few gifts that have to be refused to the giver's
face: expensive jewelry and cars from someone you hardly know, say --
but she adds, "But your eyes *shine*.".)

Unfortunately, it's hard to dispose of an SCA award discreetly, which
just emphasizes why it shouldn't be given if it's known to be
unwelcome.

In my opinion, the Crown should have just called him up and praised
him to the skies.  (That's what you do when the herald accidentally
calls up someone who wasn't supposed to be called; most people don't
notice that no award was actually given.)

Receiving the AoA, Diarmuit should have just thanked them, resigned it
via the BoD (had he known how to do so), and made it quietly clear to
his associates that he is not to be called "Lord".


All that said ...

Diarmuit, unfortunately I don't have your previous mail to hand to
refer to, so I may be off the point.  However, I don't believe an AoA
is in any way a mark of nobility.  I think a scholar or successful
merchant could possibly enter the ranks of the "lower gentry".
Certainly, bearing ensigns armorial was not confined to nobility or
even gentry; peasant arms and seals are known, and self-assumption was
even common.  Henry V, in an (in)famous proclamation, stated that
soldiers in the Agincourt campaign could bear arms in a later campaign
without having to prove their inheritance of them; my dim impression
is that some lower soldiers were using arms.  I could easily be wrong,
and more easily be missing Diarmuit's point.

(Oh, and Aquilanne?  I think you were way out of line.  Personally, I
see little wrong with setting high standards for oneself, and even
saying so.  I certainly see no sign of arrogance in Diarmuit's
postings.  I just see justified annoyance that he repeatedly said he
didn't want it and it was foisted on him anyway.)

-- 
Daniel de Lincoln
                             Tim McDaniel
                        Reply-To: tmcd at crl.com
              Never use mcdaniel at mcdaniel.dallas.tx.us.