Cloved Fruits and Kissing "Games"

[Gunnora Hallakarva]

Heilsa, All.

        Mari cogently explained the origins of the Bjornsborg custom of
treating cloved fruits as though they were explosives that could kill.

        Stefan continues to protest that the "hand grenade" approach to
cloved fruit is a Bad Thing and rude.

        Personally, I have never been offered a cloved fruit by anyone who I
would have wanted to have touch me, much less kiss any portion of my anatomy
or even the dust in my footprints.  In general (my experience, your mileage
may vary), the types of geeks who typically turn up with cloved fruit at an
event are so awful that I'd rather pour gasoline over myself and light it
before taking a cloved fruit from them.  

        If you are the sort of person who is not perceptive enough to be
able to tell if someone is likely to welcome a cloved fruit, you have no
business playing this "game" with them.  I say "game" as I feel that the
whole cloved fruit schtick is all too often a form of coercion practiced by
losers who can't get kissed any other way... and if someone tries to refuse
they use peer pressure and the "it's only a game" line to twist the
recipient's arm.

        Let the cloved fruit purveyors beware.  Bjornsborgers (and those who
"grew up" in Bjornsborg) are almost certainly going to pull a clove, scream
"INCOMING!", throw the offending fruit as far and hard as possible away from
their general vicinity and then fall flat to the ground.  If you don't want
your precious cloved fruit (not to mention your self-esteem) treated in this
way, DON'T OFFER US CLOVED FRUIT!!!

Wassail,
::GUNNORA::

Gunnora Hallakarva
Herskerinde
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