ANST - Question...

[Fox Anton Purtill]

Tempers are an interesting beast Pug.  Once you find one it tends to have
the effect of duplicating itself in someone else and then they immediately
attack each other.

I often say things incorrectly, and I know what I meant and wanted to get
across but it just didn't come out that way to the person I was saying it
to.  It's not that I said anything wrong from my point of view, but from
theirs.  This inflames the temper on their side and gets both upset.

In this sense above, I did no wrong per se, but it still ended up in anger.

Who is to correct?  Myself for not being able to interpret how my words will
affect the person I'm speaking to? Or the person getting mad at me for not
understanding what I was trying to say?

Some people are predisposed to taking things badly from another (as your own
wife and I have discovered, and have worked around over time) without real
intent to do so.

It has been said that Catriona (Mary) is caustic or abraisive, but I think
she speaks more clearly her own thoughts than many, and because it is from
her heart it is often very strong.  But just because people feel it more
that take offense at it, but she is she wrong?  No.

It is more a matter of perception, how one sees what another will say.  You
can only judge properly your own mind and feelings on any given topic and
keep council with your own ears or those that can help you understand what
you have heard.

If one must seek to fix or currect someone, calmly take it up with them
first,
if they refuse to see the wrong and you feel there still needs a lesson of
some sort, take it to someone close to them and see if they can grasp the
problem.  Failing that the best to do is leave it be, because you have
tried.

I point out this is my opinion only, without a cup of coffee or soda.

Fox Anton Purtill - Karin Höijer-Purtill
blackfox at flash.net     khoijer at flash.net
House Starblade - www.flash.net/~blackfox
   (H) 512-821-3205 - (W) 512-425-9732

>   When one person does something wrong, they are unchivalric and need to
>   be taken to task for it. Right?
>
>   People then decide that they are the judge and jury and must bring
>   this public as rudely as possible to teach the person a lesson, and
>   thus being unchivalric themself. Right?

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