ANST - Chivalry and Politeness...

[Lori Campbell]

>   When "we" talk about chivalric and/or polite behaviour, 
>   what is meant?

My definition of chivalry includes:  fairness, generosity, kindness, 
selflessness, gallantry, bravery, courtesy & consideration.  I feel 
any act based on these things could be considered synonymous with 
"chivalrous behavior."   I've always felt that these values are what 
makes the SCA different from the mundane world.

As to what one has to do to be chivalrous, well, I think that depends 
on who is defining the word.  To some, it is refusing to speak badly 
about others.  To many, it is never missing a chance to carry things 
or open doors for someone.  To others, it is always giving your 
opponent the benefit of the doubt by calling a questionable shot.  
I'm sure there are a million other examples.

In general, the SCA is filled with people trying to live up to the 
word "chivalrous."  As with most goals, we can only try. 
Sometimes we succeed, often we fail.  

In the long run, I've found that I'm much happier when I focus on 
how I'm doing rather than how others are failing to live up to my 
expectations.  It sure has been more productive.  

In the SCA (just like the rest of the world) some people hurt 
or wrong others on their way to achieving their goals.  However, 
taking someone to task because we feel they've done wrong is taking 
on a huge responsibility.  It puts us on the position of acting as 
self- appointed judge and jury - a job that, if done badly, causes 
more harm than good.  Who is right and who is wrong ceases to matter.  

If people hurt us (or those we love), we have a choice.  We can 
respond "chivalrously" or we can adopt the "I'll show you" attitude - 
which only escalates already angry and hurt feelings.  The fight has 
to stop somewhere....

HRH Kat  >"<

********************
Katrionna MacLochlainn
Barony of Wiesenfeuer
(These opinions are strictly my own and do not necessarily reflect 
the opinions of the Crown, the Crown Prince, my Kingdom, my Barony, 
my employer, my mom, my cat or my goldfish.  Well, I guess I can 
speak for my goldfish.  After all, he's just a fish, and he can't 
correct me if I'm wrong :-)
*******************
Lori Campbell
lcampbel at ossm.edu
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