ANST - Question...

[Mary Temple]

That's actually why I advocate the "privacy" thing. People are much more 
"amenable" to having their faults and failings pointed out to them when 
it's done on a one on one basis.

As for not knowing what a jerk they're being, I've met people who refuse 
to know it. No matter what, they're going to find a way to blame it on 
someone else, on circumstances, on "miscommunication". Those people are 
the ones I advocate avoiding as much as possible. :)

Catriona Rowley

>I have found when talking to people about things like this, if you make 
them
>wrong for whatever they did they can't hear what you are saying and 
it's
>counterproductive.
>Human beings would rather die than be wrong. Think about it: how much 
do
>you(a general *you*, no one specific intended) hate being wrong and how 
much
>more do you hate being told about it. This is not to say we don't all 
at
>some point or another need some insight about how we are jerks. We all 
have
>our flaws. As hard as it is sometimes, it is more helpful to approach 
this
>sort of conversation from a position of compassion and the desire to 
make a
>contribution to this person. Maybe they don't know what a jerk they're
>being.
>
>I wish I could live up to this ideal 100% of the time. ;>
>Martel


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