ANST - Funny Stuff Sent To Alina (Don't Read, If Easily Offended)

[SCOTT A WAGGONER]

COUGAR, YOU NEED TO REFRAIN FROM USING WORDS LIKE P____Y ON THE E-MAIL. 
EVERYTHING ELSE WAS FUNNY HOWEVER I DID NOT UNDERSTAND WHO SANG THE SONG
IN THE LAST STORY, THE PATIENT OR YOUR PARTNER.  IF IT WAS YOUR PARTNER,
HE HAS A
SICK!!!  SENSE OF HUMOUR, BUT I GUESS Y'ALL GET DE-SENSITIZED AFTER A
WHILE.  I THOUGHT IT WAS KIND OF MORBID, THOUGH, WHOEVER SAID IT.

BE CAREFUL OUT THERE,    SANDY

On Sat, 07 Mar 1998 04:04:33 -0600 "Cougar!!" <cougar17 at swbell.net>
writes:
>Alice Harris wrote:
>> 
>> Greeting From Alina:
>> Something I got from a sister of mine. Don't read, if you're easily 
>offended.
>
>
>These are not as good as yours, but here goes...
>
>Wildest story heard:
>
>Unit called to scene to find a man standing in a pool of blood. Along
>the counter were shots of vodka lined up, and an empty 1.75ltr. 
>bottle.
>Man promptly runs into bathroom and locks door. After firefighters
>remove the door, medics find man passed out, wearing bulging panties.
>Stacks of rye bread are on the sink. Examination revealed the panties
>were stuffed with blood soaked rye bread, and the penis was cuts down
>the sides, like a banana. Turns out, the guy had not been satisfying 
>his
>wife and had tried to peel the skin off so it could grow.
>
>Things actually experienced by myself:
>
>Young black male brought to Ben Taub ER, status post crack cocaine
>useage. Patient had two distinctive and absolute personalities, one
>female, one male. The personalities would watch the ER and make 
>comments
>to each other in two VERY distinctive voices. The personalities would
>argue with each other,..."I'm getti'n tired of yo chit!" "you better
>shut up, bitch!" Patient would sqwak LOUDLY like a parrot, when 
>touched.
>I *was* however able to convince them (him) to let me get a set of
>vitals, but had to get permission from both voices.
>
>Unit called to unconscious/unresponsive to find a woman on a couch in
>altered states of counsciousness, due to a diabetic problem. Seems 
>that
>she had not eaten in two days due to financial hardship. When given
>money by a friend, she bought and injected insulin, and consummed a 12
>pak of beer. Pt refusing treatment. Pt would pass out, and be loaded
>onto stretcher, via implied consent, only to regain consciousness, 
>jump
>off the stretcher and back on the couch. This repeated several times. 
>After FINALLY convincing her to go to the hospital, she was about to 
>be
>loaded into the unit. Asking me to come closer and putting her hand
>around the back of my neck, she leanes up a little, and says, "I've 
>been
>taken to the hospital before, but NEVER 'cause I wouldnt give up some
>pussy!." I kinda shot bolt upright, and starred a blank look at my
>partner, who just shrugged and continued to load the patient into the
>unit.
>
>January 1, 1992 00:07 transporting a 90+ y.o. w/f in cardiac arrest, 
>CPR
>in progress, pt is tubed and being bagged, I'm doing chest 
>compressions,
>and my partner is running Epi and Atrophine via I.V., when all of a
>sudden, he breaks out in a tune, "Start your day with a D.O.A., doo 
>dah,
>doo dah!"
>
>						Cougar!!
>
>============================================================================
>Go to http://www.ansteorra.org/lists.html to perform mailing list 
>tasks.
>

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]

============================================================================
Go to http://www.ansteorra.org/lists.html to perform mailing list tasks.