ANST - Musing on June 28th; :Lancing a Lot

[j'lynn yeates]

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todays missive from Sir.B. .... crusade!, space rocks, & spear of
destiny stuff

'wolf


Dear Folk,

On this date June 28, 1098 just outside of Antioch in the Holy Land
was
fought the most deciding battle of 1st Crusade, The Battle of the
Lance. Pretty interesting story mixing faith, religion, and good old
fashioned slaying.

The 1st Crusade was fought from 1095 to 1100; this was June of 1098.
The Europeans were stalled inside of Antioch. The Moslems lead by a
dude named Kerbogha (hey, when you have a name like that, you don’t
need a last name. It was like Madonna or Prince or Iman.) were also
not
feeling too well. Distention within the ranks was the order of the
day.
Some things happened to turn the tide for the European guys: a vision
- -- actually a series of them –  an archeological "find" and a meteor.

On June 10th a poor peasant by the name of Peter Bartholomew, the
servant of a member of Count Raymond of Tolouse’s army, came before
Count Ray and Bishop Adhemar. Okay, here is this ragamuffin coming
into
these rich and buff dudes, he wants to tell them of his dreams,
right.
He told them that St. Andy (patron saint of Scotland you might
recall)
had been giving him some inside dope. St. Andy said that the spear
that
those nasty Romans used to poke Jesus in the side on the original
Good
Friday was buried beneath the church (St. Pete’s) in Antioch.  Bless
Ray’s heart, he believed that poor servant. Bishop Addie was less
than
enthusiastic.

You know that is the role of the established clergy, after all: not
to
believe peasants when they say they have had mystical experiences. I
think it might be that like guys who become cops -- wanting to make
the
world good and safe -- get burned out and become cynical, so do
church
folk. They remove themselves from the very urge which put them in
there
in the first place. Maybe not. Forgive that aside. I just had this
inspiration.

Anyway, Bishop Addie sat on his hands about this until a priest
approached him. The priest essentially told him the same thing (this
time probably in Latin which makes everything sound good.) Addie
decided to believe and gave the go ahead for a small church
renovation
project. Put up the cones and ropes and watch your step!

On June 14th, the Crusaders saw a meteor fall on the Moslem camp. It
seemed like a good omen: God throwing fireballs and all. So, the very
next day a group of diggers headed for St. Pete’s. Count Ray was
there,
of course Pete Bartholomew, and a historian Ray of Aguilers. I am
sure
they brought some other guys to help with the heavy work. And it was
heavy work, and hot, and nasty. People took turns. Count Ray got
tired
and left. Pete Bartholomew jumped into the hole and in a few seconds
he
gave a yell. He had found the lance. Who would have doubted it would
be
Pete? Ray Aguilers said he witnessed it still being in the ground. So
there, you doubters!

Everyone was jazzed. Okay, Bishop Addie still did not believe any of
this but knew when to keep quiet.  Whatever the case, the Crusaders
knew that they had better get a move on soon. The Moslems were
rumored
to be in disarray. The Crusaders were running out of Ding-Dongs and
Big
Macs. Those horses were starting to look like barbecue material. The
Euro-dudes set the date of going out and doing something as June
28th.

When the day came, they duct taped the Holy Lance to a pole at the
head
of the army. Kerbogha was in the middle of a very disagreeable staff
meeting when word came that the Crusaders were looking fine and in
line. Turkish Moslems decided that there’s no place like home and
split. When Dukak (great Klingon name) of Damascus trucked, every
home
boy had business elsewhere.

The Crusaders normally would have just pillaged and raped there at
the
Moslem camp but they were on a "Holy Mission." Instead they ran the
fleeing Turks down and got medieval on their buttocks. Many a Turk
saw
Allah that day, June 28, 1098, The Battle of the Lance.

You might ask "What happened to the Lance then?" That is a long
story.
Suffice it to say that Charlemagne supposedly carried into battle.
Adolph Hitler supposedly took the same from a museum in Austria. It
got
returned after WW II. And if it hasn’t been lost, stolen, or sold, it
is there to this day.

What have we learned from this? Meteors are good omens for some but
bad
for others? Bishops are more likely to believe priests than peasants?
I
like to think that it does not matter so much if something is "big R"
Real as it does that people think it is.

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