[Ansteorra] History/Enculturation/Cliquishness....

[Signora Mea Passavanti]

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Pendaran -

I am sorry that a lady would be offended by such a kind gesture.

I'll give a version on the flip side.

A couple of years ago, I attended my first Gulf Wars during Rischard and Gladwen's reign. It was a sad day since a great man had passed, and a group of us were going to perform in court. I had to get to Court that evening but was having difficulties getting help with delivering items to the royal quarters before I could attend. I asked several gentlemen along the way, many of which I did not know, I just identified them with the tabards of out kingdom. They all either refused, stating their own issues, or flat out told me that they were too busy.

I ended up getting help from a very odd source... Duke (at the time Don) Mittion offered his assistance as well as that of his household in order to get everything taken care of.

I was very grateful for their help, but saddened that my own countrymen did not have the time.

I know that I have always aappreciated the assistance I have received at events, and have always made it a point to thank anyone who has stopped and asked even if it wasn't needed at the time.

~Mea
  > Good ladies and all who read this,
  >
  > Sorry, but I've got to step in here. I don't know how many times I've
  > offered to help a lady carry something only to be rebuffed. I've had
  > actually had women get offended that I offered to help, telling me that
  they
  > were *quite* capable of carrying something without a man's assistance.
  Which
  > is it? Should we offer or not? How can we tell that you want help or
  don't?
  > Body language doesn't do it, by the way - men, in general, aren't good at
  > interpreting it.
  >
  > There have also been several occasions where I've helped various women
  carry
  > various things throughout the day, only to be called down and criticized
  on
  > the one time that I didn't see a lady with a burden or was unable to help.
  > It seems to me that I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't and will be
  > criticized either way.
  >
  > Awaiting the fire,
  > Pendaran

   Okay I have to admit I am 100% guilty of not accepting assistance.  I feel
  really goofy having someone carry my basket, or single chair.  I will try
  and do better. :-)


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