[Ansteorra] Awards and Manners Was--> Things to think about....

[Tausha Walker]

Greetings.

I've been doing much the same. Just kind of sitting here watching to see where the thread will lead. I don't normally comment anymore because I always manage to land myself in trouble or in the middle of something. :-) However, :-) , having read through most of the other messages, I do wish to comment on this.

I am much the same way as you are. I work my rear end off at almost every event I go to. I herald, waterbear, list mistress, or whatever I can find to do. However, I don't do it because I may get an award or because I expect a "Thank You". I do those things because I enjoy doing them and it represents an aspect of the Dream for me. I used to expect that "Thank you" but I came to realize that it's not always forthcoming. That used to hurt. What I finally came to realize ... and believe me, it took a while ... is that people don't always say Thank you. It's not because they don't appreciate what you've done or because they're being rude. Sometimes they forget to tell you because they've gotten distracted with something else. Sometimes it's not the people in charge that will tell you thanks but other participants. Sometimes they show you their thanks instead of telling you. A lot of times, they mean to thank you when they get a chance but they can't find you. There have been many times when an autocrat, a marshall, a Baron/ess, or someone else has found me at the end of an event and told me Thank you. No, Largesse giving isn't dead. I get Largesse all the time.

Believe me ... your work is appreciated by all of us. Another thing I've learned is that there is always someone watching. I know this because I now have a Sable Crane and a Sable Thistle. It made me a little nervous at first but I just went back to the root of why I do all these things ... I just plain love doing them.

If you see someone in need and you go help them and they forget to say Thank you, it's not that they don't appreciate it. Maybe they have their minds on the rest of what they have to accomplish. They may find you later. Don't go off upset because they didn't say it. They may show it later on.

Another thing ... if you have something that you have to accomplish, don't stop and help someone else. It'll frustrate you if you're only helping because you think it's the right thing to do.

I know a lot of people who have quit over the years because they didn't feel appreciated, or because they didn't get an award. I think that is wrong. Do things because you love them. Play this game because you love it. Help people because you want to. Not because you expect something in return or because it's the "right thing to do". If I've learned one major philosophy out of this game it's got to be "Never expect anything. You won't get it."

Lady Celeste

----- Original Message -----
From: "CE Huse/Lady Maria Cabeca de Vaca" <cehuse at sbcglobal.net>
Date: Thu, 25 Jul 2002 01:26:02 -0500
To: <ansteorra at ansteorra.org>
Subject: [Ansteorra] Awards and Manners Was--> Things to think about....


> Hola!
>
> I have been watching this thread with some interest the past couple of days.
> Awards have become a touchy subject for me lately.
>
> I have been playing for only 3 years now. Every event I go to, I work my
> rear end off. I have washed dishes, watched and fed other people's children,
> water-beared, I've 2 offices consecutively, for a time I Chirurgeoned, and
> even stepped up when there was a needed for a hand in other folks campsites.
> I got my AoA before my 12 month anniversary. Why did I do all this work? Was
> it for an award? Was it for "political power"? No and No. I did it because I
> thought that my hard work was appreciated and I looked forward to someone
> saying a simple "thanks".
>
> That was over two years ago. I have still worked my butt off at several
> events and only 2 people have said thank you. I have even watched as my 8
> year son and 9 year old daughter worked so very hard at events too and not
> been thanked...this hurts me deeply. This is just bad manners folks and
> there is no excuse for bad manners! To be truthful, I'm sick and tired of
> working so very hard just to have the people I have helped turn their backs
> and walk off. I joined the SCA because I thought I would meet kind, generous
> and polite people. This hurts me to ask this but...Was I wrong in this
> assumption?
>
> Awards are pieces of paper (some come with little bits of leather, metal or
> cloth to hang on your clothes) that mean alot to those in the SCA. But what
> do they mean to the mundane world that we must live in? Not a thing. I agree
> with Gilli, awards are gifts. But what I don't agree with is that they are
> gifs from the crown. They are gifts from your friends and acquaintances
> because it is your friends and acquaintances that recommend you for an
> award. Without them, the crown would never know what you have done.
>
> I have been watching the last few years as people have left and those that
> have just quit working events because they weren't thanked for their hard
> work. If we want more people helping with events or getting help with your
> personal items, then it is high time we start using a bit of manners and say
> a simple thank you to those who have helped you.
>
> I'm sorry that this post has come off a bit brusque, but this has just hit a
> sore spot with me.
>
> Yours in Service,
> Maria
>
> _______________________________________________
> Ansteorra mailing list
> Ansteorra at ansteorra.org
> http://www.ansteorra.org/mailman/listinfo/ansteorra
>



As the bird, we must all learn to fly free. Like the fleur-de-lys, we are all of us three parts of one ... mind, body, and most of all ... spirit.

Live the Dream!

Lady Celeste Courtenay de Montmorency
per bend wavy purpure and vert. a bend wavy between a bustard rising and a fleur -de-lys or.

--
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