[Ansteorra] TI

Ansteorra WebMinister vscribe at ansteorra.org
Wed Dec 15 06:40:42 PST 2004


--- "Clay R." <scafaelan at yahoo.com> wrote:
(snip) 
> I, like many people in this society, believe that
> newcomers truly are the future of our ways and our
> interests.  Without new blood, nothing can grow.  It
> is you my friend, that is the future of the SCA,
> along with many others like yourself.  (snip)

On the one hand, I hear this from those who have been
in the SCA for awhile, and on the other hand, I hear
this gentleman's pain and aggravation at the
extraordinary amount of effort that seems to be
required as a newbie to even be a part of the group.  

Like all other organizations, politics are involved
and people who have known each other a long time get
comfortable and rest on their "laurels" (and I am not
referring to the Order of the Laurel here) and don't
realize how hard it is for a new person to understand
how to become a part of the group, WHO to contact or
what to ask.  

I've seen posts suggesting that this gentleman contact
his "hospitaler, senechal, baron and baronness, etc." 
While all of these are terrific suggestions, when I
was nes, I didn't know what those fancy words meant
much less who was attached to them on the other side
of the words.  The Baron and Baroness were "royalty"
in my eyes and on a pedestal where I wasn't worthy to
be in their presence.  Yes, perhaps I over-reacted. 
But, when you don't know what all this is really about
and it just looks fun, the biggest fear for some of us
is to screw up and do something really embarrasing or
stupid. 

I have wanted to participate in the SCA for over 20
years, but my ex-husband wouldn't have anything to do
with it.  After my divorce, I "married" into the SCA
by marrying a Laurel.  We have been together and
playing in the SCA now for a little over two years and
it has only been in the last couple of months that I
figured out who the Senechal was, who the Hospitaler
was, and what the beginning of what roles these people
play along with the Baron and Baroness of my Barony. 
Note:  I am in a different Barony than Mike.  

When I made my cry to the Barony about 3-5 months ago
about feeling left out and the assumption that I knew
everything I needed to know beacuse I'm married to a
Laurel, I was heard.  What I don't understand is why
it takes a new person becoming aggravated enough to
sound off before they are welcomed into their group? 
This seems to be a problem throughout the SCA and not
localized to any particular kingdom, barony, or area. 
I wonder how many people who want to participate and
don't know who to contact and don't raise Cain when
they are frustrated, end up just walking away.  How
many Knights, Laurels, and Pelicans do we lose at the
very beginning?

The Barony I'm in even had some discussion on our
e-list about starting a mentoring program for those
who had participated for awhile to take a new person
under their wing and lead them along.  People seemed
to like the idea, but that is where it died -- at the
idea stage.  I also have known some of the people in
my Barony for quite over 20 years as mundane friends. 
But, when it came to the SCA, I didn't know the rules
of whether it was OK or not to ask them questions, ask
for help, and what kinds of help I could ask for. 
What things can someone who is trying things on for
size and isn't a member yet can do or not do to
participate?  My lack of understanding of the rules of
the game and my fear of being embarrased or commiting
a major faux pas because of that held me back to
observing, sitting on the sidelines, and feeling left
out. 

The SCA is full of unwritten rules.  Well, perhaps
they are written down somewhere, but if they are, new
people don't know where to find them or how to ask
about them.  There is clearly a protocol, hierarchy,
etc., and I know I hung back trying to get the feel of
things before complaining about this very same issue.

> PS - Just remember, you get out of the SCA what you
> put into it, 

While this may be true, you have to break through the
shell to be accepted as "part of the pack" before you
can even find out how to "put into it."  Cracking the
case of the comfortable group where everyone knows
everyone is not an easy task.  

I have been thinking of things *I* might be able to do
in my Barony and Kingdon to try to facilitate an
easier passage than I have had and that I hear from
others.  Surely there has to be a solution so that
people don't feel hurt, excluded, sidelined, etc.  I
just haven't figured out what it is yet.  I am
observing, taking  notes, and trying to evaluate what
works for cracking through that shell and what
doesn't.  

I think part of the problem is that those who are
working are so busy working that they don't see the
ones on the sidelines who are dying to get in the
game.  It is kind of like a sandlot baseball or pick
up basketball game.  Once people are in the game, they
become oblivious to the bystanders who want to play,
too.  And tha analogy holds with knowing the rules of
the game.  What happens if you run around the bases
backward?  What happens if you don't understand what
it means to catch a fly ball?  The ones who know the
game make a big stink and you feel embarrased.  I
certainly didn't want people to remember be for being
a jerk who screwd things up.

Living and playing the dream is indeed fun and part of
the initiative has to come from the person who wants
to join.  But, acceptance into the group needs to be a
whole lot easier.  I don't even know what the duties
of most of the people with titles are.  What does a
hospitaler really do?  What are they supposed to do? 
What does a Seneschal do?  What are they supposed to
do?  What does a Herald do?  What are they supposed to
do?  What are all the different orders?  What do they
mean?  What do the awards mean?  What are they for? 
Which ones are only in the Barony or Kingdon and which
are Society wide?

My husband and I had a long discussion about this and
I got information about some of these questions last
night on the way home from Yule Revel.  Why didn't I
know before now?  Because I didn't know what to ask!

I have had a problem with a mundane organization with
the same problem.  I was chastised for not asking the
right questions.  But, first you have to KNOW WHAT TO
ASK! 

I find that once you know who to ask and what to ask
in the SCA, you can begin do make progress.  But until
you figure that part out, it can be a pretty rough row
to hoe. 

Little things make a big difference.  And, when I
mention some of the little things that have meant a
lot to me and begin to make me feel welcome the "old
hands" for all practical purposes "laugh."  They have
done the work for so long, that the newness and the
first tiny steps toward being an accepted active
participant are so far in the past that they don't
remember the excitement of the little things.

The first thing that made me feel I had a chance to
really participate in the SCA was given to me last
year at Twelfth Night in the Barony of the Steppes. 
Apparently, their tradition is to honor new persons
who have never attended the fanciful event by giving
them a silver acorn (in the hopes it will grow into an
Oak).  Mine sits in a place of honor in my jewelry box
and I smile every time I open the box and see it.

The second thing that was titilating for me happened
when a "demo" ay my church was postponed in our
Barony.  The Baron asked me to be certain that the
church knew that the Barony was willing and eager to
reschedule and participate.  *I* was asked by the
Baron to be responsible for something!  To everyone
else in the room, it was no big deal.  To me, it was a
rite of passage and a piece of acceptance.  *I* had
been asked by the Baron.  Wow!

I think sometimes SCAdians who have been around a
while think that the new folks are looking for awards
and recognition without the work.  That isn't the
case.  We are just looking for a sign that we are part
of the group, too.

Has anyone written a "what to do as a new person"
introduction to the SCA?  in booklet or pamphlet
format?  If so, perhaps one way to break the ice would
be to have them available for purchase or handout or
something at events when people sign in, pay site
fees, pay feast fees, etc.?   I know one key to
participating functionally in any group is to learn
its language (lingo, acronyms, etc.) and the SCA is
rife full of them.  If there isn't a booklet, perhaps
that would be a good thing for me to work on while the
struggle of being new is still fresh and I now
learning what questions to ask.  If there is one, then
we need to find it, update it if needed, and get it
out and visible.  People can't access things they
don't know exist. 




=====
Isobel de Kirkbryde married to a Laurel (Michael Fenwick of Fotheringhay)

Mundanes:  Mike and Melody Andrews


		
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