[Ansteorra] Courtesy challenge

[Bob Dewart]

Is this a 21st century thing vs. a 16th century thing?

Gilli
Burkhaven, An Odyssey of Learning
http://home.hot.rr.com/burkhaven/
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Elizabeth Ellis" <weavedog91 at sbcglobal.net>
To: <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>
Sent: Monday, October 02, 2006 6:14 PM
Subject: [Ansteorra] Courtesy challenge


>I get very uncomfortable when I hear "ladies should let gentlemen carry 
>stuff for them" and things of that ilk.  Now before anybody gets offended, 
>please let me explain. I'm not talking about the action of offering to 
>carry something for a another person - that's basic good manners which 
>everyone should pursue.  If a person does not want the assistance, then 
>they should courteously refuse and then thank the other person for their 
>kind offer of assistance.  What I am uncomfortable with is that it is 
>socially acceptable that men offer assistance and women accept, but when a 
>woman offers to help a guy carry something lots of people still seem to 
>think it's strange.  I don't like how one sided that is. We should all, 
>regardless of gender, be willing to help someone in need of assistance. 
>Falling back on the old "only guys do this, and only gals do that" is a cop 
>out when it comes to common courtesy.
>
>  Ladies, here's a challenge - for every offer of assistance you receive, 
> offer assistance yourself.  It doesn't matter if you accepted the original 
> offer of help or not - just pass on the courtesy to somebody else.  Step 
> up when you see some poor guy struggling to carry too much armor to the 
> list field (or back to camp after a hard day of fighting).  Or some poor 
> lady doing the same (whether it's armor or other things).
>
>  Guys, here's your challenge - Because so many of you seem gun shy about 
> rejection, do the following: for every refusal you receive from a lady for 
> an offer of assistance, go out and offer to assist somebody else.  It 
> doesn't matter if it's a gal or a guy you offer help too.  You'll never 
> get over being gun shy if you don't Just Do It.
>
>  Now here's the capper for everybody - either accept an offer of help 
> courteously, or decline courteously. Is this so hard?  If you are the one 
> offering the declined help, don't read more into it than was intended. 
> Just because a gal (or guy) declines, doesn't mean they are rejecting you 
> as a person so stop taking it that way! And if you are the one being 
> offered the help, recognize the courtesy that it is and then decline in 
> the most courteous way you possibly can.  Show the person that even though 
> you decline you still highly appreciate and value their kind offer.
>
>  Wouldn't it be fun if we all turned this into a choreographed dance of 
> sorts?  How cool it would be if everyone tried to outdo each other as to 
> who could be most courteous, whether it be in the offer, acceptance, or 
> decline.  Somebody mentioned romance earlier - well, if you want romance 
> (and you know you do) then that's the way to go about it.
>
>  Mistress Corrinne
>  ...yeah, I'm an old biddy, and if you make something of it I'll whallop 
> you with my cane.  But I promise to courteously apologize afterwards and 
> then offer you assistance to the nearest chair....<VBG>
>
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