[Ansteorra] Courtesy challenge
Bob Dewart
gilli at hot.rr.com
Mon Oct 2 17:23:55 PDT 2006
Is this a 21st century thing vs. a 16th century thing?
Gilli
Burkhaven, An Odyssey of Learning
http://home.hot.rr.com/burkhaven/
----- Original Message -----
From: "Elizabeth Ellis" <weavedog91 at sbcglobal.net>
To: <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>
Sent: Monday, October 02, 2006 6:14 PM
Subject: [Ansteorra] Courtesy challenge
>I get very uncomfortable when I hear "ladies should let gentlemen carry
>stuff for them" and things of that ilk. Now before anybody gets offended,
>please let me explain. I'm not talking about the action of offering to
>carry something for a another person - that's basic good manners which
>everyone should pursue. If a person does not want the assistance, then
>they should courteously refuse and then thank the other person for their
>kind offer of assistance. What I am uncomfortable with is that it is
>socially acceptable that men offer assistance and women accept, but when a
>woman offers to help a guy carry something lots of people still seem to
>think it's strange. I don't like how one sided that is. We should all,
>regardless of gender, be willing to help someone in need of assistance.
>Falling back on the old "only guys do this, and only gals do that" is a cop
>out when it comes to common courtesy.
>
> Ladies, here's a challenge - for every offer of assistance you receive,
> offer assistance yourself. It doesn't matter if you accepted the original
> offer of help or not - just pass on the courtesy to somebody else. Step
> up when you see some poor guy struggling to carry too much armor to the
> list field (or back to camp after a hard day of fighting). Or some poor
> lady doing the same (whether it's armor or other things).
>
> Guys, here's your challenge - Because so many of you seem gun shy about
> rejection, do the following: for every refusal you receive from a lady for
> an offer of assistance, go out and offer to assist somebody else. It
> doesn't matter if it's a gal or a guy you offer help too. You'll never
> get over being gun shy if you don't Just Do It.
>
> Now here's the capper for everybody - either accept an offer of help
> courteously, or decline courteously. Is this so hard? If you are the one
> offering the declined help, don't read more into it than was intended.
> Just because a gal (or guy) declines, doesn't mean they are rejecting you
> as a person so stop taking it that way! And if you are the one being
> offered the help, recognize the courtesy that it is and then decline in
> the most courteous way you possibly can. Show the person that even though
> you decline you still highly appreciate and value their kind offer.
>
> Wouldn't it be fun if we all turned this into a choreographed dance of
> sorts? How cool it would be if everyone tried to outdo each other as to
> who could be most courteous, whether it be in the offer, acceptance, or
> decline. Somebody mentioned romance earlier - well, if you want romance
> (and you know you do) then that's the way to go about it.
>
> Mistress Corrinne
> ...yeah, I'm an old biddy, and if you make something of it I'll whallop
> you with my cane. But I promise to courteously apologize afterwards and
> then offer you assistance to the nearest chair....<VBG>
>
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