[Ansteorra] Hey Folks!

[Joshua McCoy]

Hi every one!  I am making this post for further explain and clarification with a few more frustrating comments.

The first thing that I need to reiterate, explain and clarify is my zero tolerance policy on such comments as "ADD huh?  You should... oh look at the shiny object."  The reasoning why I have this policy is because I was a domestic violence victim and also because of the teasing that I did and still do receive because of my ADD.  If the above quoted comment was formatted with joke and a colleen or even with "a smiley", I would have said Mr. Whitehead I see that you where trying to joke with me, but on the other hand I do take offence to your joke.  I am very tolerant of many other things, it is just this one thing that I can not stand with out any indication that the above quoted comment was a joke.  Other then this situation with the above quoted comment, and with my personal life experience stated above, it dose take me a long time before I truly get angry like I did with the above quoted comment.  Also I should not be able to say "I have (whatever), and not be criticized for it, nor have it turned into a joke, nor treated flippantly; nor have it used as a weapon against me for what ever I shared with the group.  There was a point made to me and it is a good one all I am asking by sharing this with you all is to at least indicate to me that you are making a joke to me because I do not know all of your personally yet and I probably will not be able to know all of you personally because of where I all of us live.  I hope that the above explanation clarifies to every one where I stand, and if any one would like me to go further please ask me to do so nicely as possible.

One other thing that I do need to reiterate to you Mr. Whitehead is that I am truly sorry for how I came across to you, and I would like and love to meet you in person in the hopes of being friends.  Also Mr. Whitehead, I only used the quoted comment above to give a better explanation on why it hurt me and offended me, and that is all.  I do not mean to hurt you in any way by using that above quoted comment in any way, and like I said before I am only using it for further explanation and that is all.

Now I would like to address another frustration with a private reply that I received from a person from this list.  My hopes in addressing this frustration in this public forum is so that this person and others can learn what stuff are frustrating and offensive to me.  The first comment that was made is "You have no sense of humor?"  How do you know if I do or do not have a sense of humor being that you do not know me?  That comment is very rude, disrespectful, and offensive to me beings that you do not even know me at all.  That second comment that frustrates me is "Past abuse is NOT, in any way shape manner or form, an excuse for inappropriate behavior in the present.  Stop being a victim - it does not give you a 'Get out of jail free' card so you can behave as badly as you want."  Even though I did come a crossed badly to Mr. Whitehead, I did apologies to the group before he replied, and to him in privet and in this same post, and with that being said it is my opinion that you do not understand that there are still scars from my past abuse where I will some times react poorly like I did even though it is wrong of me and I am working on that and am going to work harder not to react like that.  The third comment is "Grow up.  Stop being a bigot.  Stop being a victim.  So people made fun of you when you were a kid--- so what.  Wake up, smell the coffee.  We were ALL teased and made fun of when we were kids.  That is not an excuse for a 28 year old man to behave like a spoiled 3 year old."  This is what I will say for the whole comment, 1) I also did admit my mistake for behaving so poorly to Mr. Whitehead, 2) It take a grown up adult to admit where they messed up, and 3) with me stop being a victim I get into peoples faces when they offend me even though I screwed up with the problem with Mr. Whitehead, which I do consider resolved now.  As for the part about me "Stop being a bigot."  How dare you even say such a thing to me when you do not even know me and this is more despicable, and unredeemable to say to some that you do not even know and I say to you again, how dare you?  The forth comment that I am frustrated with is "There is nothing ignorant or stupid in the observation that people with ADD are easily distracted."  That is all fine and good if the other person has ADD them self's, now what about the people that do not have ADD, and that would show some sort of ignorance, and stupid ness on there part.  The fifth comment that I am also frustrated with is "And guess what - being rude while complaining about someone being rude to you makes you a hypocrite"  I say what ever and that is your opinion.  The sixth comment is "What all this does show is that you are unable to control your anger and over reaction to situation that is not to your liking"  I say this, Ok mommy diarist how do you want me to control my anger and over reaction to situations that are not of your liking?  I said that because it dose take a lot for me to blow up even though again I will say I reacted badly and I am sorry for it.  What or how many times do I need to say that I am sorry and for how I reacted.  Like Leslie Snipes said "On Joshua's broader point, one should be able to say: 'I have [whatever].' and not be criticized for it, nor have it turned into a joke, nor treated flippantly; nor used as a weapon against them.  (I had a series of strokes a couple of years ago.  My close friends get to joke about "brain damage" but I wouldn't take it kindly if someone I didn't know well made a similar joke to me; ESPECIALLY if it weren't very clear it was a joke.).  I too have health problems which now prevent me from getting out to play in the SCA and it would be quite sad to think that those with lesser problems were being treated poorly at events or on the email lists."  Leslie Snipes also said that she dose disagree with me on a few aspects and that is fine I do under stand her point.  As for the comment "If you *really* have ADD then you know that every single aspect of your behavior on this issue has been totally unacceptable and that trying to use ADD as a justification is despicable behavior on your part."  That's all find and good to say, but I do ask how many more times do I need to admit that I was wrong and that I am very sorry for what I said and acted?  As for the comment "No, ADD is not a legitimate excuse for poor English, grammar or spelling.  That you do not make the choice to take the time to actually think about what you are saying before you say it or even do something simple like use the spell checker is not because you have ADD - it is because you choose to let the ADD control your life instead of you taking control of your life and your ADD."  I say yes it is, because you do not know what I am doing to control my ADD or my life, also you do not know me at all.  I also ask you are you going to sit down with me and watch me "like a 3 year old chilled" to make sure that I am going to do every thing that you think I need to do or what you are accusing me of doing?  As for the comment "You can rant and rave all you want but until you get control of yourself and your ADD you will simply come across as an ignorant, immature person throwing a tantrum like a 3 year old child instead of behaving like an adult.  No one but you is going to buy into your 'victim of ADD' rhetoric - especially others with ADD."  First off you still do not even know me, secondly you do not speak for every one and nor do you speak for me, thirdly I am not ignorant and immature person that is throwing a tantrum like a 3 year old child because like I said so many times before I admitted my mistake and said that I was sorry for my actions.  And the final comment "What you have shown and the point you have made is that you are using your ADD as an excuse to behave like a rude, uncontrolled child throwing a temper tantrum because someone said something you did not like."  It sounds like you're the one that needs to grow up beings that you do not know me at all, then that is just my opinion.

From,

Joshua McCoy