[Ansteorra] Please share your favorite memory of getting Largess

[willowdewisp at juno.com]

Her Excellency  L Deer Slayer has bought up an interesting aspect of having a persona.
   "I've also received a number of gifts that were given as a purposeful creation of 
obligation.  If it's an obligation that is understood and acknowledged by both parties 
then I accept the gift... if I feel that the person's expectations of the exchange will be 
beyond what I could honorably obligate, I now either refuse the gift or if it would 
create more disharmony to refuse... I pass that gift along to others who need largess 
ASAP... 

Personally... I don't give gifts requiring obligation and I don't give them 
"lightly". 
I give gifts of appreciation. It's so kewl to give a gift that has significance to me... 
or to add to the history of an object by passing it along to a worthy person...and watch 
the "light" grow and shine in someone...to make their day, to appreciate their 
worth or contribution..".
If you are trying to think and portray a "period" individual gift giving can be a problem.
For example the poet Egil came home from "a viking" and found out his daughter had accepted a nice shield sent to him from the Jarl. He was furious because "now he would have to write a poem about the Jarl".  In early period gifts had to be "tit for tat" or  you were under obligation.
Gifts also included sitting at a person's table and drink his mead. There is a famous Welsh proverb that says "Sweet is the mead when drunk, bitter when paid for/" This means if you sit at a Lord's table and eat and drink and enjoy his skall during the winter when the Spring came you were honor bound to go with him when he went to fight." In Hrolf 'saga the Hero Bjorka turns down the gifts of spoils offered to him by the Swedish King because he wanted to leave his service and if accepted the gifts the scales of obligation would be tipped in the King's direction. 
It was common custom of Celts to bring guest gifts. You did this so you could eat and drink and not be obligation. I try to bring guest gifts to B&B's when I visit. My persona would do this to keep the books straight. 
My husband Duke Jonathan always asks candidates at their vigil, "How much is your Knighthood worth to you" and of course they answer "priceless". He goes on to explain that as long as the Crown honors them with rights and privileges of Knighthood and kepis them in the honor and respect they receive that day they will always be on the "owing" side of obligation. All the work they did up to that point did not "buy" their peerage it only showed that they were worthily to be a peer. 
In later times maintaining respect for honors was very important. In the "traitor" Barons chanson the main theme was if a vassal was dishonored or made fun of or their rank was made lesser by someone else lower rank being given more "privileges" then the vassal was legally right to "break" with fealty. Of course this usually resulted in the King objecting and a war starting.
As modern people we don't usually think about gifts and obligations but as little as 40 years etiquette books talked about not giving too expensive gifts or accepting them. When I was a little girl in South Alabama there were "rules" about this that  were taken quite serious. Of course "Ladies" didn't go out of the house without a hat and gloves on Too. 
Willow



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