[Ansteorra] Courteous hospitality, was Indoor Fighting,

[Miles Grey]

M'lady,
  Some of the pavilions that surround the list field will be private. 
They're the equivalent of someone's front porch or carport.  You didn't
know, neither did your mother.  The person who turned away your mother
and children probably didn't have any idea they were new.

  We simply can't know the whole story about that day when Irial's mother
and children were turned away.  It's very probable that the pavilion in
question was personal.  Without knowing the details (and we will
probably never know them), the only real criticism is that the pavilion
owner didn't point out the Bordermarch pavilion to the three strangers. 
But then, none of us do the right thing every single time.  We should
instruct newcomers that whenever something seems strange, wrong, or
confusing, they should say something like, "I'm sorry, I'm new, am I not
supposed to be here/do this/whatever?"

  As for worrying about blundering or doing something rude:  don't.  Dive
in.  Stick your nose in wherever your curiosity leads.  Ask questions. 
Walk up to strangers at events and say things like: "Hi, I'm Irial and
I'm new.  Who are you?"  "Does your
<hat/belt/sash/ribbons/pin/medallion/whatever> mean anything?"  "What's
happening here?"  "I'm from <group>, where are you from?  Oh.  Uh, I
can't remember - what's the mundane city?"  "Brewing sounds interesting
- can you tell me about it?  Is it difficult?"

  It might run counter to your normal style, but so what?  You're joining
the SCA to be a part, to participate, not to be a spectator.  You'll
learn faster that way.  You need to pace yourself so you don't get
burned out, while still pushing forward so you can learn what's going on
quickly.  It feels good to look around at an event and realize you're
part of it and don't feel like a visitor anymore.  The sooner that
happens, the better; not just for you, but for all of us.

  Perhaps the most important question is, having told people you're new,
have you been offered any mead yet?  If not . . . Well, I just don't
like to think that that could be possible.

  In Service,
    Miles Grey



Irial wrote:
> Actually I am a lady or so I am told.  I was very shocked myself when my
> mother stated this.  Mind you this was her first event, and my second.  I
> was wet, tired, and smelled like a wet horse from my steed.  It nearly
> ended my SCA days.  As a newcomer I've tried my best not to blunder or do
> something rude.
> Very excited to see the topic of public pavillions make it to Roundtable.
>
> Irial