[Ansteorra] Offering help

[Ld.blackmoon]

greetings

but the point is , to have manners,to show consideration, to act as you wish 
others to act towards you ,to offer in the 1st place.
too many times no one bothers to offer.
and even if the lady is a fighter, she's still a lady and the offer should 
be made.
( in this day and age, with our aging core group, it doesn't hurt to ask 
anyone if they would like assistance, not just the ladies ; )
I was once yelled at and called sexist because I held the door open for a " 
lady ", I now hold doors for everyone ; )
the same applies to cleaning the site, especially the area you used ( camp, 
classroom, list field, etc. ) , before you leave an event .
I would rather pick up a fully loaded bag of trash from every camp site, 
than spend 20 min. at each camp picking up others cig butts,booze bottles 
and candy wrappers.
unfortunately, I'm usually picking up others loose trash : /
just plain bad manners, a reflection on today's society where such rudeness 
is considered " normal" after all someone else will surely clean up after 
them like the  small children they are acting like......
the modern world creeps in on all of us, but I believe that changing " 
attitudes " have more to do with the decline in memberships than anything 
other than money .( both expense, and lack of )
flash camera's in court,  being in so much of a rush that people forget to 
be courteous, cell phones ringing at feast, or court, leaving a mess behind 
every where people go, forgetting to say please and thank you.
even personal codes of honor that allow such things as cheating, rules 
lawyering,exceptions in case they don't like a person, etc.
it seems that while we are looking much more " period, we are acting much 
more " modern " , or in all likely hood, acting much more as the period 
nobility really acted, instead of the " dream " nobility we started out 
trying to become : /

Be Safe , Be Happy, Have Fun .
Arthur

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Tim McDaniel" <tmcd at panix.com>
To: "Kingdom of Ansteorra - SCA, Inc." <ansteorra at lists.ansteorra.org>
Sent: Sunday, January 15, 2012 8:49 PM
Subject: [Ansteorra] Offering help


> On Sun, 15 Jan 2012, Bree Flowers <evethejust at gmail.com> wrote:
>> To be fair, some of us ladies are ALSO fighters :) It's nice to be
>> offered assistance, but part of that offer must also be a
>> willingness to accept a "no thank you, I've got this".
>
> Along those lines, I was told -- possibly by Robin of Gilwell, but
> maybe coutesy advice migrates to him by the same process that migrates
> a legend about some soft drink to Coca-Cola -- I had a point when I
> started this paragraph ...
>
> Ah, yes.  Along those lines, I was told that the correct way to offer
> assistance was not to ask "Do you need some help?" but "Would would
> you like some help?"
>
> And to bow out (literally) if they answer in the negative.
>
> Daniel de Lindonio
> -- 
> Tim McDaniel, tmcd at panix.com
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