[Ansteorra] Retention, was Ideas and others

[Manners, Tabitha]

Thank you, Elsa.  That is something I have done periodically....let's see, it started with "If I don't show up my friends will be disappointed" then migrated to "But I always go" to "But if I'm not there I will miss something cool and they never tell me everything when I ask...I don't suppose they can"....for several months it was because my daughter wouldn't let me not go.  Now it is my escape and my responsibility both.  I love being with friends and talking and getting away from my to do lists or at least making it vastly different from every day.  This is why I continue to play whether I feel like I'm doing everything right or being a complete failure.  The SCA is my balance.

-----Original Message-----
From: ansteorra-bounces at lists.ansteorra.org [mailto:ansteorra-bounces at lists.ansteorra.org] On Behalf Of Elsa
Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2013 10:36 AM
To: Kingdom of Ansteorra - SCA, Inc.
Subject: [Ansteorra] Retention, was Ideas and others

We've discussed ways that things are bad, we've talked about hard decisions we've had to make to stay here, and we've highlighted ways that we can make things better. I haven't seen much of a discussion on why all of us are still here.
I know I'm not alone in the world for having lots of life committments, both inside and outside our Dream. One of the ways I juggle my priorities is to periodically sit back on my heels and reevaluate _why_ I'm doing what I'm doing, here and elsewhere. At one particularly overcommitted time, I told myself optimistically that I could leave this "hobby" any time I wanted to - but of course the next thought was "except."
-Except that I had a commission due to a friend, and the materials and patterns were in hand, so I didn't want to let them down (and have to stare guiltily at the materials for years after).
-Except that I had an obligation for an event two weeks from then, both to be there to meet someone for a purpose and to share a ride (read: fuel money, road-safe entertainment) with someone who wouldn't be able to go without my however-small contribution and their reciprocal obligation to me.
-Except that I'd have to explain my decision to all of my friends - because even the ones who aren't here know where my time goes.
-Except that I owe so much to people in this time-sink (affectionately
meant) - both internally (I've learned many of my favorite art forms here) and externally (my best job leads have come from friends I've found here), and to drop out feels disrespectful to their time and investment.
I'd like to see more of a discussion about why we're all still doing this despite knowing all the warts. By remembering our reasons, however habitual, we can focus on making those kinds of things more accessible to the people who haven't yet started thinking about what we do in terms of an addiction. :-)  ~HL Elsa of Mooneschadowe

--
So if knowing is half the battle, what's the other half? Halberds.
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