[Ansteorra-rapier] Oh the humanity!! (long rant)

Thom Rolston ihos at onebox.com
Wed Sep 5 11:47:04 PDT 2001

 No, no, Benedict. Don't hold back, tell us how you really feel.


Thom Rolston
ihos at onebox.com - email
(512) 682-6901 x2721 - voicemail/fax

---- joe rummel <jerummel2000 at yahoo.com> wrote:
> Well, the swords were cool.
> After an evening and half a day of thinking about it,
> that is the only good thing I can say about "The
> Musketeer".
> I went to a screening last night, not high hopes, but
> with some expectations.  I knew that the fighting,
> Hong Kong inspired wire-style, was going to be weird
> and I knew the story was different, but I still had
> not made up my mind to not like the film.  Basically,
> I knew it would not be as good as the 1973 Richard
> Lester films (3 and 4 Musketeers) and was hoping it
> was better than the Chris O'Donnell/Disney version
> from a couple years ago.
> I don't know if I can describe how bad this movie is.
> I can't say that the "fill in the blank" is bad and
> that is why I didn't like it.  Everything is awful.
> The acting, the editing, the music, the credits (the
> worst I've ever seen.  When the opening credits make
> this bad of an impression it is a sign of things to
> come.), the fighting, the characters.  Did I say
> everything sucks.
> On the fighting.  I didn't like the idea of using the
> wire-style/Hong Kong action for a 17th Century movie,
> but I figured I'd put up with something different.
> The problem is that all of the editing and lighting
> during the fight scenes is so bad that you can't
> really see anything.  It is virtually impossible to
> follow the fights from one point to another.  The also
> used speeded up film to make the action faster and it
> just looked bad.  I think the fight director (Xin-Zee
> Xiong) is very good, but not in this film.  Go and
> watch "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" instead.
> The costumes.  Everyone in period was dirty and greasy
> all the time.  Except the hero and the pretty girl.
> D'Artangnan is supposed to arrive in Paris in 1624,
> but this movie looks to be set in around 1650-1660.
> The costumes were not the worst thing about the movie,
> they just weren't impressive or inspirering.  If I
> come out of a period film not wanting to make new
> clothes, it is not a good sign.
> The story.  Other than the fact that some of the names
> are the same, this movie has NOTHING to do with
> anything that Dumas ever wrote.  It has NOTHING to do
> with anything that happened in French history.  The
> characters are D'artagnan, the Musketeers (Athos,
> Porthos and Aramis - they have no characters and are
> basically interchangeable), Febre (the villain - he
> wears all black after all) and the cute girl.
> What else is there to say.  It's not even bad in a
> funny way.  It's just a train wreck from beginning to
> end.
> Well, the swords were cool.
> Ranting, I know.
> Benedict Ashton
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