Bards - whatever....

Lady Simone Ui'Dunlainghe lady_simone at
Tue Jan 9 23:29:40 PST 2001

Can I post this piece elsewhere?


Kevinkeary at wrote:
> Well, if it is a challenge...
> Don't have anything stirring and patriotic or visionary...
> But if something in a slightly LIGHTER vein would be entertaining, even if
> slightly off-color.  I wrote this a while back and haven't performed it
> in-kingdom yet.  Not really period, but quite SCAdian.  No apologies.  They
> wouldn't be adequate anyway.
> But I'm sure some of the brewers among the bards will appreciate it.
>                An Ode to Yeast
> Now let us lift our mugs to Yeast,
> Oh, Noble and Noteworthy Beast!
> Proof soulless things may be divine--
> It turns our grape juice into Wine!
> Let praises echo from the eaves
> For alcohol is what it leaves.
> It fills us 'til we fain would burst
> And slakes the driest, fiercest thirst.
> This wee, hard worker meets our need.
> It turns our honey into Mead!
> Oh, see its banner never droops
> For alcohol is what it poops.
> The gifts of Yeast increase our weal.
> They make a feast of any meal
> Though bland or strong as teriyaki--
> It takes our rice and gives us Saki!
> Each earthly pleasure it completes
> For alcohol's what it excretes.
> Oh, who but Fire could match Yeast's skill
> To warm our hearts in winter's  chill
> And brings forth light where darkest gloom is.
> It turns our horse milk into Kumiss!
> (OK, anyone can make one mistake.)
> But such worth needs make no excuses
> When alcohol's what it produces.
> By Yeast is lightened every load
> And smoothed the roughest rocky road.
> Let its detractors be struck dumb.
> It turns our cane and beets to Rum!
> Oh, harbinger of heaven's gates
> For alcohol it defecates.
> Oh, Yeast, too small for mortal sight,
> It fills our souls with such delight,
> And glory grants with gift so dear--
> It turns our barley into Beer!
> And joy flows from a thousand taps
> For alcohol is what it craps.
> So lift your horns and glasses high!
> Praise Yeast, who gives us Scotch for rye.
> And let no mortal dare to scorn
> What trades us Bourbon for our corn,
> What dulls our fears, yet hones our wits
> For ALCOHOL is what it sh---uhh---emits.
> I warned you.
> Kevin
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