[Bards] Lines for Ravensfort

Alden Drake alden_drake at sbcglobal.net
Mon Sep 17 19:38:02 PDT 2007

Thanks.  I'm used to doing a couple edits on my poems, so these seem a bit rough to me, but I am pretty happy with how they turned out.  I did manage one quick edit on the sonnet, and that made a difference.

The poem for Countess Sara is kind of interesting.  I took a poetic form used by Sir John Davies, from his acrostic collection "Hymnes to Astraea" and altered it slightly.  For starters, I did away with the acrostic.  Then I changed the meter from 8-8-7-8-7, 8-8-7-8-7, 8-8-7-8-8-7 to 8-8-7-8-8-7, 8-8-7-8-8-7, 8-8.  I also changed the rhyme scheme from A-A-B-A-B, C-C-D-C-D, E-E-F-G-G-F to A-A-B-A-A-B, C-C-D-C-C-D, E-E.  It shortens the poem by two lines, but I like how it reads a lot.  I also like the Iambic tetrameter punctuated with the lines that drop a syllable.  Very fun to write.


----- Original Message ----
From: Peter Schorn <peterschorn at pdq.net>
To: bards at lists.ansteorra.org
Sent: Monday, September 17, 2007 6:37:00 PM
Subject: [Bards] Lines for Ravensfort

Alden, these are damned good!


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