[Bordermarch] Brewers Guild 11-13-07

[Joshua Kolett]

Your excellency Santiago,
 
Very well written, The only thing left out was that the rancid haggis looking sack was actually a mixture of finely roasted malted barley, crystal malt, and black patent (the originator of the wonderfully fragrant chocolate odor). The final mixture was allowed to cool and then yeast was added some time last night. I will allow it to ferment for 14 days bottle it and wait 10 more days. Then we may all enjoy a fine stout crafted in our very own barrony (we may even drink to the point where a rancid haggis appears appetizing) 
 
All in all it was a fine guild meeting. I hope to see many of you at the next fighter practice.
 
Josh> Date: Mon, 15 Oct 2007 11:44:22 -0500> From: Dave.Lathrop at valero.com> To: bordermarch at lists.ansteorra.org> Subject: [Bordermarch] Brewers Guild 11-13-07> > Unto Barony Bordermarch> > Greetings,> > > > The Bordermarch Brewers Guild met this Saturday to rack our honey and> blueberry mead into bottles where they will rest and attain perfection> with age. All went well as Lord John and m'lord It-chi Top-Soy (Josh)> helped with the whole process of siphoning the brew into bottles and> then corking everything up tight. Sterilization was utilized with every> step to insure no stray yeast cultures would enter our meads and start> the whole process all over again. As we were racking the mead m'lord> It-chi tutored us in the fine art of brewing some beer. When he let us> smell the hops he was using we realized a highly tuned olfactory gland> is required because we all thought the hops smelled like rancid> vegetables. M'lord It-chi declared he loved the smell of hops. We became> aware then and there that m'lord It-chi Top-Soy either has more cultural> training than the rest of us or he is really just a strange person from> Florida. > > M'lord It-chi started the beer by boiling some water into which he> dunked an oversized teabag of shredded hops. He let the water and hops> steep for awhile then added another teabag of the smelly hops into the> mixture. This concoction began to emanate an odor that filled the barn> with a hint of chocolate. I think m'lord It-chi then added some more> chemicals to the brew, but he was very secretive and turned his back to> us as he hunched over his mixture. M'lord It-chi produced a bucket that> contained some secret recipe of dark viscous fluid. He poured it into> the pot of boiling juice with the two huge teabags bobbing around in it,> very much resembling two garbage scows being tossed about by the> unrelenting fury of some dark stormy sea. > > After placing a large funnel into a five gallon glass jar, he took those> two oversized teabag things that were steeping in the brew and placed> them into the funnel.> > With the help of Lord John they poured the steaming molasses like fluid> from the boil-pot over the stinking teabag things and let it filter down> into the glass jar.> > Finally, the process of brewing beer was over for the day. M'lord It-chi> placed the two teabag things into a large glass bowl for all to observe.> >From a distance the bowl and teabags looked like a Scottish haggis gone> very bad. I grabbed the bowl and brought it closer to HE Elisabeth for> observation. She was sitting at her sewing machine working on baronial> banners with Lady Catalina. When I showed it to her she wrinkled her> nose in discuss and started to back away. I then told her to touch it,> and since I control her mind she actually extended her finger to probe> the dead, blackened, steaming teabag things in the bowl. I was> petrified. I did not realize that I had that much control of her mind so> just as she was about to touch it I released a blood curdling scream to> warn her of impending danger. HE Elisabeth immediately screamed louder> than me and went into survival mode. Her legs started to kick wildly and> her arms were violently swatting at some unseen assailant. She thrust> herself and her chair back so hard that the sewing machine and table> almost became airborne. Thanks to my early warning, disaster was averted> and HE Elisabeth will live to slap me again. While this scene was> unfolding Lady Catalina began to rock back and forth at the ironing> board. She stuffed both hands into her mouth in hopes of quelling the> laughter that was building in her gut. The hands in the mouth trick did> not work, she exploded with glee as HE Elisabeth and I became embroiled> in the deadly scenario that was happening at the moment. Lord John also> found the whole incident amusing and is probably still laughing. M'lord> It-chi was petrified. Evidently he has never witnessed a man push his> wife to the edge of oblivion and then pull her to safety. He was so> shook up about the whole thing that when he left the meeting he forgot> to take his two teabag things with him. I was tempted to hang them from> a tree to see if they would repel insects, but the sight of them> dangling from a branch was too unnatural, they went into the garbage.> > I always thought the art of brewing beer was a beautiful craft passed> down through the generations from father to son, but now I know it for> what it is. It is and always will be a form of punishment, not so much> for the brewers or the final beer drinker, but for the unsuspecting> initiates who take it upon themselves to become a bonafide and certified> Brewmaster.> > > > HE Santiago > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _______________________________________________> Bordermarch mailing list> Bordermarch at lists.ansteorra.org> http://lists.ansteorra.org/listinfo.cgi/bordermarch-ansteorra.org
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