[Bordermarch] Fighter practice

Fri Oct 19 13:56:33 PDT 2007

HE Santiago,
I have learned 2 things from reading you email.
First I will no longer be drinking anything when I read your emails, Dr.
Pepper on my desk is not good.
Second I will never bring a drink to one of your courts for I would more
than likely wear it from laughing at your stories.
Thank you for the laughter please continue it for we all need it at times.

In service to Bordermarch
Lady Ophelia Larue MKA Karen Picou
-----Original Message-----
From: bordermarch-bounces at lists.ansteorra.org
[mailto:bordermarch-bounces at lists.ansteorra.org]On Behalf Of W G Wimberley
Sent: Friday, October 19, 2007 1:55 PM
To: Barony Bordermarch
Subject: Re: [Bordermarch] Fighter practice

Your Excellency,
      Having picked myself up off the floor after falling from my seat and
nearly snorting coffee from my nose laughing (forgive me, Excellency), I
wish to express *my* sympathy for your plight whilst undertaking this menial
labour. The nobility should not have to soil their hands with such, I know,
but when the peasants revolt, what else is one to do if one wishes to keep
the estate running smoothly?
     I think Your Excellency coped admirably with the situation; after all,
no one ended up needing the care of Chirurgeon or Hospital. And as an
individual who is also all but blind without her corrective lenses, I
sympathise.
In Service,
  Lady Meresankh

-----Original Message-----
>From: "Lathrop, Dave" <Dave.Lathrop at valero.com>
>Sent: Oct 19, 2007 2:18 PM
>To: Barony Bordermarch <bordermarch at lists.ansteorra.org>
>Subject: [Bordermarch] Fighter practice
>
>Unto Barony Bordermarch
>
>Greetings,
>
>
>
>I must protest against the unrelenting laughter that was emanating from
>the Ladies that seemed to flock around HE Elisabeth at Thursday's
>fighter practice. I protest because they were taking great pleasure
>listening to my wife tell those stories about my seemingly endless
>misadventures.
>
>I overheard her telling them that my stately pose on the tennis court
>with sword in hand and protruding gut reminded her of the time I fell
>from the roof of the barn. The fact of the matter is I did not fall; I
>gracefully glided safely down to earth. My number two son and I were
>roofing the barn with sheets of fourteen foot aluminum roofing, whose
>edges were as sharp as razors. Number two was on the peak of the roof
>ready to grab the sheet when I handed it to him. The peak is over thirty
>feet from the ground so a long extension ladder was required for me to
>get the material to him. I was at the top of the ladder fully extended
>with the razor sharp sheet of roofing on my finger-tips pushing it to
>number two son. I told him to make sure he had a firm grip before I let
>go because I did not want it coming back down on me. Sure enough just as
>I let go and took the first step back down the ladder he screamed "Dad!!
>I can't hold it; it's slipping out of my hand!" I didn't even look up. I
>grabbed that ladder and took the next step down as fast as I could. If
>that metal came down and hit me I knew I would suffer some serious hurt.
>As I stepped down one more rung, the ladder decided to slide out from
>underneath me. There was no time to panic. I glanced at the terrain
>fifteen feet below and spotted a large jagged stump right where I was
>destined to fall. I had a wife and family and all of my children's
>friends to support so I decided to live. I gathered my great strength
>and pushed off from the failing ladder. I must digress here and inform
>you, the reader, that as a youth I placed third in a state gymnastic
>event. My specialty was the high bar and I was certainly used to
>falling. When I pushed off from the ladder I immediately spread my arms
>and stretched out my oversized tank top to its full capacity. I then
>spotted a smooth gently sloped area that was suitable for a large
>falling man to land in. I was ten feet from the ground when I found the
>proper glide path for a smooth landing. It seemed like an eternity, but
>finally I was close enough to the ground to start my tuck and roll
>routine that I had perfected during my early years as a gymnast. One leg
>extended slightly bent with the other tucked underneath. Even before I
>hit the ground I had already started to roll. The timing was absolutely
>perfect. The extended foot lightly brushed the earth followed by my
>tucked and rolling body. I completed the unrehearsed routine by rolling
>out of the tuck and coming to a perfect upright position on both feet.
>No cuts, no bruises and no pain. I was totally unaffected by the quick
>decent, but my glasses did fly off. I called for number two to come down
>and help me find them, but he was laughing so hard I thought he would
>fall off the roof. He had managed to maintain his grip on the sheet of
>roofing, so my early departure flight was unnecessary. I found my
>glasses by crawling around on my hands and knees and feeling for them. I
>am quite blind without my glasses. When number two made it to the ground
>and stopped laughing he said that when I was falling I looked like a
>three hundred pound flying squirrel soaring through the air. When the
>near fatal accident was relayed to my wife she once again almost had to
>run to the bathroom because of her laughter. Such concern always touches
>my heart! I am reminded of the time I told her repeatedly to never leave
>the hammer on the top of the ladder, but she did it anyways, twice, and
>it fell and smacked on the head when she moved the ladder, did I laugh
>at her pain---absolutely not!!  I offered sympathy and gently rubbed her
>head then I banned her from the ladder for life.
>
>This is only one of my misadventures that she shared with the Ladies at
>fighter practice. They kept looking at me and laughing so I know HE
>Elisabeth was spilling her guts about my other unfortunate accidents.
>
>We had a new heavy fighter, M'lord Richard, take the field and he did
>very well. Lord Zain is back in town and he joined the rapier fighters
>for some practice. It's good to have him back and we hope we can keep
>him here for a while. Three Kings is coming up soon and it looks like
>we'll have a pretty good number of Bordermarchers going to the event. We
>appreciate meeting the new people that are introduced to the group at
>fighter practices and perhaps they will stay and join us as we travel
>this journey we're all on.
>
>
>
>HE Santiago
>
>_______________________________________________
>Bordermarch mailing list
>Bordermarch at lists.ansteorra.org
>http://lists.ansteorra.org/listinfo.cgi/bordermarch-ansteorra.org

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