[Bordermarch] Parangaricutirimicuaro vermicelli

Lathrop, Dave David.Lathrop at valero.com
Fri Oct 1 06:13:43 PDT 2010

Unto Lady Catalina,

Because of your wonderful Latino/circus-dwarf lineage, you of all the little people should know in your heart-of-hearts that I speak only truths and near-truths.

I do remember HE Elisabeth and I having a certain therapy session with you during one of our many event day-trips together.

You confided in us that the previous day you had stepped in dog-poo while wearing your brand new Yellow Box shoes. Since you were still wearing the same shoes, you were worried that the poo and shoes would clash, and people at the event would think less of you.
HE Elisabeth and I did not want to say anything at the time, but we could tell by your Latino/circus-dwarf sigh of relief that a huge burden had been lifted from your shoulders when we assured you that everything would be ok and no one at the event would notice.

Please do not misunderstand what I'm about to say because you know full well that HE Elisabeth and I think only good thoughts when we think about your beautiful Yellow Box shoes, but due to your delicate mental condition at the time, we decided not to tell you why we later stopped mid-way to the event and released you from the truck.
I feel you have now progressed mentally enough to know the truth.

We released you from the truck hoping you would take that opportunity to clean your shoes, instead, you walked straight into the 7-11 and bought a Slurpee!

HE Elisabeth and I could take no more!
We made you ride the rest of the way to the event in the bed of the truck because the sweet tangy bouquet of miniature schnauzer poo and Yellow Box shoe polish was clashing just enough with HE Elisabeth's new Gym-Lips perfume to make things a bit touchy in the truck!

As your Baron I feel it is once again time to carry your cross for you.
Lady Catalina, I think what you really wanted to ask me is, "Master, I have once again stepped in poo and soiled my shoe and need advice from a guy like you?" 
Since you apparently failed to followed our previous advice concerning poo and shoes, I am now concerned that your fantastic Yellow Box shoes will lose their identity.
In conclusion; the answer to your question is, "Yes, it is now time to WEAR YOUR BOOTS!"

Give our love to that guy you've been hanging around with.

HE Santiago

-----Original Message-----
From: bordermarch-bounces+david.lathrop=valero.com at lists.ansteorra.org [mailto:bordermarch-bounces+david.lathrop=valero.com at lists.ansteorra.org] On Behalf Of Jayna Calhoun
Sent: Thursday, September 30, 2010 11:00 AM
To: Barony Bordermarch
Subject: Re: [Bordermarch] Parangaricutirimicuaro vermicelli

Should we wear boots Your Excellency?

Lady Catalina

Sent from my iPhone

On Sep 30, 2010, at 8:58 AM, "Lathrop, Dave" <David.Lathrop at valero.com> wrote:

Since there's been so much recent discussion on our list concerning Parangaricutirimicuaro vermicelli, I thought I'd clear things up a bit.

The cork strakes used in medieval wheels were thought to have been first used by the Spanish Inquisitive during the Reformation.
One of the major hurdles they had to overcome was the problem of keeping the strakes attached to the felloes.
They arrived at the perfect solution when Cortez returned to Spain from one of his trips to Mexico. He had with him a very large egg!

It seems that while Cortez was scouting the coast of Mexico he spotted a large flightless bird running back and forth between the beach-line and the jungle forest.
The crew he deployed to capture the bird tracked it many miles inland into the jungle before successfully netting the large bird.
Upon return to the ship, the crew's leader reported to Cortez that they had surprised the bird while it was nesting in a shallow cave at the base of a volcano.

Although Cortez took great care to see that his prize bird was given all the best, it did not fare well during the long sea voyage back to Portugal.
The large bird did lay one egg while in captivity; Cortez prized this egg more than anything else!

Cortez gifted the egg to the Queen of Spain, who in turn gave it to the head cook in the kitchen. She insisted he make something extraordinary with the one-of-a-kind egg for the upcoming holiday celebration.
Of course the rest of the story is well known; The head cook decided to scramble the egg, but in the process accidentally invented the omelet.

What is a lesser known fact is that when the cook cracked open the egg some of its egg white spilled into a nearby pot of boiling water. As soon as the egg white hit the hot water it began settling into long skinny strands at the bottom of the pot. When the cook removed the egg strands from the pot he found them to be quite tasty...VOILA! vermicelli was invented.

The cook was about to discard the water that the egg had fallen into but decided instead to test its use as a glue.
He found the egg water had tremendous adhesive properties when it was left to boil down into a thick paste.
When the Inquisitive heard of the new glue they immediately applied some to the cork strakes on their buggy wheels. The egg glue kept the cork in place even under the most extreme conditions.
The Inquisitors were so pleased with the glue they named it Parangaricutirimicuaro vermicelli after the homeland of the big bird and the egg noodle that the cook had invented.

HE Santiago

Don't forget about populace tonight!

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