[Bordermarch] FW: Camping with the Yeti's

Lathrop, Dave David.Lathrop at valero.com
Tue Feb 28 10:20:20 PST 2012

Camping with the Yeti

Although indigenous to the Himalaya mountain range in southern Tanzania Africa, the Yeti have been known to float across the Pacific ocean on large chunks of charcoal in search of hot dogs and stew.
We were fortunate enough to have a male and female Yeti, quite possibly mates, join us during our recent campout extravaganza!
Trepidation and befuddlement ran wild in the group when we first encountered the Yeti, thus causing Bordermarch's Lord Phocas to chase random plastic bags floating in the crisp winter air. The children seemed to instinctively recognize the Yeti's gentle nature and warmed up to the pair immediately.
Since HE Elisabeth knows a modicum of sign language, she can point to her head when I'm giving her a migraine, she began the long process of starting a dialog with the Yeti.
To our surprise it seems the Yeti are very well versed in English! We can only surmise they picked it up from reading discarded gum wrappers during their ocean voyage.

I now apologize for changing the subject of this story without so much as a single segue.

When I loosely mentioned that a very fine cartographer's ink could be rendered from the husk of the lowly Hickory nut, Lord Biau immediately ran off to gather up all the Hickory nuts he could. He returned with a large quantity of nuts for my inspection.
He was so very proud of his collection.
When he opened his pouch the Hickory nuts suddenly popped into the air like so much jiffy-pop. We did not understand the reason for the jumping Hickory nuts.
Lord Biau decided he did not have enough nuts, and promptly secured his pouch and went searching for more.
He intends to boil the Hickory nuts on his lovely wife's kitchen stove, add some ferrous oxide in the form of a rusty gauntlet, and throw in some gum-aromatic to thicken things up. I expect to be using some of his new Hickory nut ink at the next guild meeting.
If the ink potion does not work all will not be lost; the Hickory flavored fluid can be use quite successfully in the production of one of Lady Jimwat's Hickory fruit cakes. I'm sure Lady Jillian would love to make one for the group.

The male Yeti was garbed out in a custom made knitted white yak outfit. He sported a very fine head-piece that complemented the burn on his hand. His hand was scalded earlier when I was pouring him a generous portion of really hot coco. Yeti love coco. He held the cup and I poured the hot coco into the cup. When he decided there was enough hot coco in his cup he proceeded to remove his cup before I was finished pouring. The hot coco dribbled from my coco pot onto his hand; he let out a Yeti howl...."OOOOHHHH AAAAHHHH!" As he spasmodically jerked his hand from the dribbling hot coco the scalding hot coco in his cup splashed over the cup's rim and poached his hand! This time the Yeti howl was different...."OOOOHHHH AAAAHHHH OOOOHHHH AAHH AAHH!" His mate answered with..."BING BANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG".
I felt sorry for him and let him wear a pair of HE Elisabeth's Ansteorra black and gold opera gloves to protect his hand from ticks.
The lady Yeti was fashionably dressed in faux fur and looked absolutely stunning! Her hat was to die for!

As we got to know the Yeti better we found out they like to cook, at least the lady yeti does. She wanted to cook us a traditional yeti soup made from pieces of wood, but we had to pass on it.
She did prepared some very large birds and hung one from the fire spit by a string; she placed the other bird in a pot directly on the cook fire.
Both birds were wonderful and digested quite nicely.
HE Elisabeth joined the cook-fest and added some meat and root veggies to the meal, again quite delicious!
HE Catrin topped everything off with homemade greens and cornbread, and Lord Phocas cut up a banana for the group.

We all sat around the camp fire in the dark of the evening and told tales of adventures we've had in our homelands. HE Armand blessed us with his good humor and insightful guidance to living life well. His life lessons were the by-product of living life unwell.

Our camping experience with the Yeti will never be forgotten, they were last seen collecting large charcoal chunks from the campfire for their next ocean crossing. I hope they stay in touch.

HE Santiago

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