ES - Are we welcoming enough?

windell gibson draeco at
Tue May 26 12:41:42 PDT 1998

Michelle Isabelle wrote:
> >Subject: Re: ES - Are we welcoming enough?
> Being New in the SCA myself I am so glad that Lady Simone has taken me
> under her wing to help me in this new adventure.
> One of the first thing she told me was to address everyone as Lord and
> Lady until I have more knowlage to know the differace and I've not had
> any problems so far.
> Stepps Warlord was my third event and I had the best time.
> Everyone was very welcoming and helpful. Still have a lot to learn
> but looking forward to getting to know more people.
> Alisha
> >M'Lady Caelin,
> >Thank you for your kind response.
> >Yours
> >Willow
> >On Sat, 16 May 1998 09:57:20 -0500 "Richard Threlkeld" <rjt at>
> >writes:
> >>If I may attempt an answer, your Grace.
> >>
> >>I am new enough to easily remember my first encounters with the
> >>SCA (and it was Elfsea).  You were, in fact, the second person
> >>I met and were exceptionally gracious.
> >>
> >>The problem you mention derives from the authority that a "brass hat"
> >>carries (and that seems even greater to the new player).  You might
> >>use that authority to ask someone to mentor the potential player
> >>during
> >>the current event and ask the mentor to tell them about titles
> >>and such.  This would reduce the impact of being told you goofed
> >>up on addressing such a high person.  In fact, I was told something
> >>like that "She should be addressed as Your Grace, but don't
> >>worry about it.  We don't expect you to know such things until
> >>you've been in the SCA a little while.  Try calling everyone
> >>Lord or Lady when you don't know.  They won't take offence."
> >>
> >>The mentor is there to answer the mirad of questions that a
> >>new player will ask.  Our social fabric is very complicated
> >>and requires some study.  After 1.5 years, I still need help
> >>with some of it.  Luckily, many are willing and gracious about
> >>providing it to me even though I am not still a new player.
> >>
> >>Mentoring, by the way, teaches you a lot about our society.  Most
> >>of the questions are easily answered from your own experience, but
> >>some require you to ask others or research.  It also reminds you
> >>what new people want to know and what they need to learn quickly
> >>to enjoy the experience.
> >>
> >>In service to the dream, Ansterroa, and Elfsea,
> >>Caelin
> >>
> >>
> >>> -----Original Message-----
> >>> From: owner-elfsea at Ansteorra.ORG
> >>[mailto:owner-elfsea at Ansteorra.ORG]On
> >>> Behalf Of willow l herbert
> >>> Sent: Monday, April 27, 1998 7:15 PM
> >>> To: elfsea at Ansteorra.ORG
> >>> Subject: Re: ES - Are we welcoming enough?
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> Hi Gwennydd this is Willow
> >>> I hope I wasn't the brass hat that told you that but If I was I am
> >>sorry
> >>> for not putting it better.
> >>> This brings up a difficult question. If you were around a new person
> >>and
> >>> they got their titles wrong you would probably try to give them
> >>> information but as a brass hat if I try to give data (even if I try
> >>to
> >>> explain it is OK) the person is often upset. If they find out later
> >>that
> >>> they used the wrong title and I didn't tell them they are also upset
> >>. I
> >>> get it coming and going. How would you deal with this situation?
> >>> I believe that the courtesy and titles give a special air to our
> >>> activities. I believe they do more than all the wall-hangings in the
> >>> world in making the magic. Of course, in keeping with my 12th
> >>century
> >>> background, I believe all should be greeted by their title. I
> >>received my
> >>> Laurel after being in the SCA for 12 years without a single title. I
> >>love
> >>> my Mistress but during those 12 years I would had died for a Lady. I
> >>know
> >>> of many a person who is no longer in Elfsea because after they
> >>received
> >>> their AOA no one greeted them as Lord or Lady. Most people work very
> >>hard
> >>> for whatever awards they have gotten and we should all respect them
> >>for
> >>> their work. I known sometimes we don't agree that someone should get
> >>an
> >>> award but we shouldn't take away from others that do deserve their
> >>> awards.
> >>> I would like everyone to get used to using titles and doing the
> >>> courtesies. People in the MIddle Ages didn't see them as a boundary
> >>but
> >>> simply a social greeting.
> >>> Willow
> >>>
> >>> >At one of my first fighter practices, I was told by a brass hat "My
> >>
> >>> >proper title
> >>> >is . . . "  I was crushed!  If I hadn't been stubborn, that
> >>probably
> >>> >would have
> >>> >stopped my playing altogether because of that.  But I'm more
> >>stubborn
> >>> >than I
> >>> >am shy, so I'm still here. ;-) o approach *you*!
> >>> >
> >>> >Yours in service,
> >>> >
> >>> >Gwennydd of Dovey
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Welcome to the SCA.  It can be great fun, it's up to you as to how much
fun you want to have.  I am Viscountess Kate (V. Kate) and if there is
anything I can do to make it more fun for you let me know.  Again,
welcome and you have the greatest guide around. (yes Simone that was a
compliment)  Bye, V. Kate
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