ES - Courtesy & Other Things

Sharon Palkowetz vivaine at
Wed May 27 07:24:34 PDT 1998

Ooo as a newcomer I would like to throw my 2 cents in on this one:

I doubt any newcomer means any disrespect by not using a proper title,
in fact, it may be the opposite. It can be intimidating to use the wrong
one, so its easier to fall onto the old standby of Lord or Lady,
especially if a newcomer has made the attempt, and corrected publicily.
It can be embarrasing and a real confidence crusher. I've seen a
newcomer try to use a proper title, only for a peer to chastise them in
front of everyone.

Its also very confusing. Remember in the mundance world, even corporate
bosses are falling back to the more casual first name basis rather than
Mr. or Ms.  It all takes some getting used to. I know at one point, I
used someone's title in a casual setting and was corrected to not use
it. Whew!

I think a good class in SCA etiquette would help newcomers without
embarrasing them or making them feel self concious, as well as give
others a nice refresher.  It might also be nice to give them an idea of
who is who in the area and how they like to be addressed.
We all want to have fun and play the game right.  A nice handout with
some locals names would be a great benefit. If something exists, great,
if not, I volunteer to pull this list together.

On a personal note, if i have offended anyone by not using the proper
title, then i apologize from my heart.


Axel , Jeanmaire & Diane Remes wrote:

>  Jeanmaire here again! I just downloaded another 15 messages!  What
> amazes me is the number of messages posted early in the morning -
> between 6 & 7.  You all are just so dedicated! I just want to say
> that, in regards to showing respect and using titles, I have noticed
> that the people of this Barony are always very respectful to their
> Baron and Baroness.  I ALWAYS hear Llewelyn & Zara Zina addressed as
> "Your Excellency", even under the most mundane of circumstances, such
> as "Your Excellency, where you you like your tent set up?"  On the
> other hand, I seriously wonder if people are even aware that the
> Viscounty (of which we seem to have a disproportionate amount) are
> also to be addressed as "Your Excellency".   I, myself, almost never
> am, nor have I noticed Axel or Galen being addressed in that fashion
> except very rarely.  (Galen, am I wrong on this, or what?)  For my own
> part, I would rather that people feel friendly towards me rather than
> be exacting about my title.  Perhaps when I wear my coronet (which is
> not very often) it would be nice to be addressed properly, but I find
> that on those occasions, such as at court last Saturday, people are
> more likely to bow at me and not speak at all.  (Am I too intimidating
> or something?)  Perhaps a short course, or a pamphlet, on courtesy and
> modes of address might be in order here.  It could include how to
> recognize the various Orders of Merit and Royal Peers, and how to
> approach and address them.  Also, what to do if you can't tell, and
> just basic courtesy, like, if you see someone struggling to unload and
> you're not busy, helping that person is a good way to meet them.  This
> suggestion applies to ladies as well as gentlemen.  When I was single,
> I helped lots of guys unload their cars.  Trust me, it's a good way to
> meet people.  From the other end, if you need help, and there are
> people just standing around chatting, try asking for it.  It took me 6
> years in the SCA just to get an AOA, and even as a nobody, I didn't
> find it difficult to commandeer assistance when I needed it.  Just ask
> politely. On a personal note, I would like to heartily thank all the
> people who helped set up our camp on Saturday morning, when we arrived
> late only to discover that Axel had to run off to a Chivalry meeting.
> My especial thanks to Simone and her Lord, and to Lady Gwendolyn.  I
> don't know what I would have done without you all, and thank you for
> being gracious about my crabbiness.  (I don't take well to being
> deserted by my Lord.) In service,Jeanmaire

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