ES - Courtesy & Other Things

Axel , Jeanmaire & Diane Remes remes at
Wed May 27 11:16:10 PDT 1998

Afan wrote:

As for asking for help, it seems to me that since chivalry,(the
respect and courtesy with which we are supposed to treat one another)
is one of the main building blocks, which the Society has been
created upon, no one should have to ask. Maybe that is taking a bit
of a hard stand, but then again my belief is that most of us are big
boys and girls and shouldn't have to be reminded like children

Having been married to a knight for over 12 years, I really have to
recommend approaching them like children.  (OK - now don't you white belt
types get offended.)  Even more than other people, knights get very wrapped
up in conversations to the exclusion of all else.  Just as I suggested that
most people do not omit titles intentionally, I would also like to suggest
that these Knights did not say to themselves "Oh, look - there's a Lady
struggling to set up camp by herself.  Think we should help?  No, we're
above that."   Of course that's not what happened!  Like small children,
they get so wrapped up in themselves that they just don't notice.  Axel (my
husband) will be the first to plead "guilty" to this one.  I understand that
shy people have trouble asking for help, having worked very hard to overcome
this problem myself.  (Rosaleigh & Arabella will tell you how well I've
succeeded.)  But I think it's very unfair to not ask for help, and then
complain that no one helped you.  If you feel too shy to ask for help in the
future, come to me & I'll round people up for you (or the Baroness, or any
number of other people).

Hope I haven't made things worse by offending anyone.


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