[Elfsea] FW: [Northshield]: A &S Report for 1 April good stuff, maynard!

Tue Mar 5 17:26:39 PST 2002

-----Original Message-----
From: Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA) -Garb
[mailto:SCA-GARB at LIST.UVM.EDU]On Behalf Of Mike Newton
Sent: Tuesday, March 05, 2002 6:57 PM
To: SCA-GARB at LIST.UVM.EDU
Subject: Fw: [Northshield]: A &S Report for 1 April

This came from the Northshield list, via some other list, every Kingdom is
tagged.  Enjoy!

Thorbjorn
----- Original Message -----
From: "Aurelia Rufinia" <aureliarufinia at yahoo.com>
To: <northshield at minstrel.com>; <houseironmaiden at yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Tuesday, March 05, 2002 5:30 PM
Subject: [Northshield]: A &S Report for 1 April

> Forwarded from the Caid list.
>
> For those who have a habit of spitting drinkables over
> your computers, please put down your drinks before you
> read this.  You have been warned.
>
> Aurelia
> -------------------------------------------------
>
> Arts & Sciences Report of the Fool
> April 1, AS XXXV
>
> Policy Decisions:
> It is not respectful to address the Ivy Queen of Arts
> as "The Virginia Creeper" or any variant thereof.
>
> Action Items:
> The lawsuit against Amnesty International for
> copyright infringement by their logo on the Badge of
> the Arts & Sciences has been filed. On a
> related note, I need to petition for more funds.
> Kingdom Items:
> Aethelmearc:  To save time in the future, Master
> Cariadoc of the Bow has been declared an official
> primary source.
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
> Ansteorra:  Local members have been combining their
> research in the fields of animal husbandry
> (specifically the bovine and equine varieties) and
> cereal agriculture. The end product of this joint
> effort should be very enlightening.
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
> An Tir:  After this weekend's successful Arts and
> Sciences Championship, His Royal Majesty Davin has
> decided that all entrants for Crown Tourney in
> May must be sponsored for entry in the Kingdom lists
> by a Laurel.   Although he is sure the idea might meet
> some resistance, he is equally sure that he can
> beat the living daylights out of any dissenters and
> then use their earthly remains to burn and use the fat
> to make soap, which sounded like a really fun
> thing to learn anyway.
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
> Artemisia:  The A&S Competition has been revamped to
> be truly competitive. The theme this year is "Best
> Garb/Worst Fabric Choice." Said garb must be of
> the most stomach-churning kind, ie: a surcoat done in
> a caution-sign-orange running suit fabric offset with
> red paisley-bandana knit polyester, over a
> red-white-and-blue flower print polyester / lime green
> nylon
> particolor cotehardie, with a periwinkle purple
> acetate kirtle. Accessories will also be counted as
> part of the package-stockings, jewelry, headdress,
> shoes, underpinnings, pouches, etc. If the judges have
> to lie down with cold compresses after viewing said
> garb, or if they faint away, extra points will be
> awarded.
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
> Atenveldt: The Laurels are hard at work duct taping
> everything under the sun in preparation for the
> upcoming camping season. The Chivalry has been
> seen sparring with darning needles and thimbles. At a
> recent fighter practice a group of Knights was asked
> to put down their needles and find their swords,
> whereupon the comment was heard, "But I have to finish
> this for Coronation!"
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
> Atlantia:
> Since the return to Atlantis, recent advances in the
> fields of alchemy have shown great promise. Details on
> the successful reproduction of the Rumpleskiltskin
> effect will be appearing in an article in the next
> TI.
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
> Caid:  Caid has decided to purchase a controlling
> interest in Paramount Studios.  Industry professionals
> will be replaced by Laurels and Knights, who will be
> responsible for providing historically accurate
> clothing and choreographing military scenes. There is
> still some discussion about whether President of the
> Studio should be a greater or lesser Officer of State.
> Projects already in development include "Foot Traffic"
> and "Chocolat: Not Period!"
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
> Calontir:  Last year's sales of the 36 volume set of
> the words to all the Songs for Ceremonies was so
> popular that the Kingdom is going to perform and
> record them all. They will be available on the very
> compact 27 CD set.  The set will include a free tick
> collar.
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
> Drachenwald:  A group of individuals with 15th century
> Italian personnae have been looking into implementing
> their research of politics from that time frame.
> There
> will shortly be a proposal to the Board regarding the
> creation of several new city-states, large scale
> political dissent and unrest, and a  request to
> generate a set of guidelines which would outline the
> procedure for the forcible transfer of land/population
> between neighbouring political entities (kingdom,
> shire, city-state, et al.).
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
> Ealdormere:
> Having not had a name for the A&S award of arms since
> the conception of the Kingdom of Ealdormere, if the
> name of "Trillium's Flame" does not pass through the
> college of heralds, plans have been made to resubmit
> it as  "Trillium Herald's Flame" as the Trillium
> Herald is burned in effigy.
>
> The Sisters of St. Brand are currently working on
> creating reliquaries of suitable majesty to house the
> glorious relics of their chosen Saint. They are also
> following the aforementioned Saint around, waiting for
>
> more things to drop off of him. His Royal Highness
> Roak has found a set of magical gauntlets that aid him
> in his thieving abilities.
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
> East:  The East and The Midrealm have decided to end
> years of hostility and merge.  Unfortunately, they
> cannot agree on the new Kingdom name and will meet in
> an A&S Competition next August to "settle the matter
> once and for all."  Early predictions call for both
> sides to lose and the new Kingdom will be called
> "Pittsburghlan."
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
> Meridies:  Meridian A&S rules have been completely
> overhauled. Entrants must now pay an entry fee of one
> hundred dollars to enter. Documentation must now
> have at least twelve primary resources, and consist of
> no less than 50 pages.  Any entry not using 100%
> authentic materials will be burned.  Performers who do
> not dress to match the region and timeframe of their
> entry will also be burned. Scores will be determined
> by throwing darts at a dart board.  Strangely enough,
> the judges are now complaining that they don't have
> enough to judge at the faire now. You just can't
> satisfy some people.
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
> Middle:  Ragnvalder, the former King of the Middle,
> had decided to pardon all previous displayers of bad
> garb in the few hours before he stepped down as King,
> so the Curia is holding committee meetings to decide
> if they should take action against the Count for such
> bad personal judgment, wondering what compensation he
> received from bad costumers toward the upkeep of
> Ragnvalder County.
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
> Outlands:  Outlands is revamping their A&S structure
> to include a judging penalty to all left-handed
> redheads.
>
> This office will be realigning the Kingdom borders now
> that the new census is out. Artemisia acquires Denver
> and Outlands parts north because they are cool. In
> compensation, Outlands will receive what's left of the
> Mir space station. It will be carried around in a
> coffee can by all Royalty henceforth.
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
> Trimaris:
> The judging sheets for Kingdom A&S were counted, then
> recounted, then counted backwards, then counted using
> new math, then counted using reverse polish notation,
> then counted in hebrew, then counted on abacii, then
> counted underwater, then counted in the dark, then
> counted in the park, then counted with a brew, then
> counted at the zoo. I do not like recounting for
> Mistress Ro, I do not like it how I know! The final
> determination was that Ralph Nader is the new Kingdom
> A&S Champion.
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
> West:  Participation in the Arts & Sciences is way up
> in the West Kingdom due to the statewide power outage
> in California. Following Governor Davis' latest failed
> negotiations with the power industry, the populace of
> the central kingdom has banded together to form a
> self-sufficient commune.  While the mundane culture
> rapidly falls victim to violence and deprivation, the
> SCA continues to thrive. The Pelicans are organizing
> facilities and supplies, the Chivalry has secured an
> armed perimeter around the compound, and the Laurels
> are exploring period water purification techniques.
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
>  Commendations:  This year's report was a
> collaboration with all my Kingdom Officers, who
> deserve to share equally in any repercussions.
>
> On a related note, I need to petition for more funds.
>
> Publishable Report Summary:
> Heralds be damned! It is the Arts Officers who
> caretake all the wit in the Society!
>
>  With tongue firmly in cheek,
>
> Mistress Rowena of Avalon, Hedera Helix Plectranthus
> Nummularius,
> Laurus Nobilis
> Ivy Queen of Arts
>
>
> =====
> Domina Aurelia Rufinia
> House Iron Maiden, Barony of Nordskogen
> Principality of Northshield, Middle Kingdom
>
> "Don't play dumb with me."
> "No, honestly, I am dumb. Most of the time I'm playing smart."
>
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