[Glaslyn] hand kissing

Wed Jan 30 09:59:59 PST 2008

http://members.tripod.com/~whitebard/handkiss.htm

  this is interesting. 

  Hand Kissing: a Guide For The Perplexed   http://members. tripod.com/ ~whitebard/ handkiss. htm

IOSEPH OF LOCKSLEY'S HANDY GUIDE TO CAVALIER HAND-KISSING

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-Ioseph of Locksley

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Hand-kissing is a wonderful means of greeting a 
lady. It is very common, and unfortunately very 
commonly abused, in the SCA. Hopefully, this 
short article will help us do it right.

First of all, one kisses the hand in only two social situations:
* If you already know the lady, and she offers her hand, or
* If you are being introduced to her, and she offers her hand.

DO NOT run around grabbing any lady's hand, and 
kissing it, at random. They might just eviscerate 
you on the spot, and any person witnessing said 
evisceration will only point and laugh at your 
social faux pas. Or help out by handing the lady 
a dull knife or two......if she offers her hand 
to be kissed, kiss it. If not, DON'T!

(You can "cue" her to offer her hand by extending 
yours. Be prepared, however, to convert the 
extension into a flourish of your reverance to 
avoid the embarrassment of standing there with 
your hand out looking like a beggar asking for alms......)

There are several degrees of hand-kissing:
* With -dry lips-, bend over the hand in a 
courtly manner, and make the motions of a kiss 
over the back of the hand. Do NOT touch the hand 
with your lips. This is correct when first 
introduced, and is always correct in any situation.
* With -dry lips-, bow as above, and kiss the 
back of the hand, GENTLY. This is correct if you 
know the lady already. It is NOT correct if you 
have not been introduced previously.
a) You can express "I am overwhelmed by your 
beauty" by not simply bowing, but by -kneeling- 
before you kiss her hand. This gives a good 
opportunity to look longingly into her eyes. Make 
sure her arm will reach you as you kneel....if 
you yank her over on top of you, you will need to 
move to another planet and change your name. 
Remember the axiom: "The Society -never- 
forgets!" Or, if you are lucky, accept your evisceration stoically.

The above forms are the generally accepted means 
of hand-kissing. What follows are more -intimate- 
kisses that should NOT be done simply whenever 
you want to, but ONLY to those ladies that would 
enjoy it........and be ready to apoligize 
PROFUSELY if they take offense! If you are unsure 
AT ALL of the lady's reaction, DON'T DO IT. You 
don't know her well enough to do it if you can't 
be -absolutely sure- of her response. (Don't let 
your own ego get in the way of your analysis of 
her possible reactions... !!) And, needless to 
say, (but it -must- be said) these last three are 
extremely -off limits- to ladies under legal age!
* Bend over the hand, gently turn it over, 
and, with -dry lips-, kiss the -palm-. This 
implies extreme admiration for her beauty, and 
adoration-at- a-distance. Close the lady's hand on 
the kiss, afterwards, and murmur something nice, 
like "I pray you, keep this as a memory of me..."
* Bend over the hand, gently turn it over, 
and with as dry a tongue as you can manage, lick 
it. This implies extreme admiration for her 
beauty, and a wish for a more .... ah .... 
intimate aquaintance. It takes a great deal of 
sprezzatura ("cavalier attitude") to carry this 
off well. Don't try it unless you are confident 
of your ability to deliver on the implied 
promise..... and you are very confident the lady 
will not kill you on the spot. Don't try it if 
you can't "play Cavalier" very well indeed, 
because you will only come off as a lout otherwise.

The last form might be considered offensive by 
some. DO NOT try it unless you are on very 
intimate terms (not necessarily sexual!) with the 
lady. I have made Duchesses' knees buckle with this one:
* Bend over the hand, just a little, so you 
can look into her eyes (you will need to raise 
the hand a bit to do it), gently spread the 
fingers apart, and, with a dry tongue, and using 
only the tip, lick gently between two of the 
fingers, on the web. This is an obvious 
promise....DON' T do it unless you are willing and able to keep it.

Notice that I have always specified "dry." Wet, 
sloppy kisses are Not Appreciated.

The practice of sucking on fingers is gauche, and 
the business of kissing the hand, and continuing 
the kisses up the arm is simply stupid, or good 
as a comedic turn. Clicking the heels as one kisses her hand is out-of-period.

When saying farewell, one may kiss the hand -if 
it is offered-. If the lady offers her cheek, 
kiss it as in (2) above, gently and with - dry- lips.

Hand-kissing is an art form, and should be used 
along with courtly bows, flourishes of one's hat, 
and all the rest of the "bells and whistles" that go with courtly behaviour.

But......tread lightly! When you kiss a lady's 
hand, you go where even angels fear to tread.

And: NEVER EVER force your attentions on the lady 
in ANY manner. Such an action is the mark of an 
uncultured boor, and places you in the category 
of "waste of food and air on an overcrowded tourney field."

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