[ANSTHRLD] someone theorys on why we have heralds

[Owen]

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[ Picked text/plain from multipart/alternative ]
forward with publishers permission..



Advice column

Dear Ann of Flanders,

I’ve been in association with the SCA for quite a while now and I, even after all this time, am left with a question that has been driving crazy: Who is Harold and how does he get to every meeting all the time?

Total Nutcase from Texas



Dear Moron (uh, Nutcase),

Your question is one of those that used to be asked often. Many times the story of the “paperwork laden stranger” would be told over campfires to the children so that they could pass it on to future generations. Our group of merry drunkards needed someone to keep us straight by, literally, telling us what was going on. We tried writing it down, but, drunk eyes can never see (I think that’s the proverb). We tried whispering it to each other by passing the current events through the gathered throngs. But, after a line of 6 or 8 people, “the Baron wishes to address the crowd” became “the moron cross dresses two cows”.

So, in the mid 1960’s, a man named Harold stood up. He was a great man with a booming voice and a penchant for accepting abuse at the baronial level. The man, Harold, inspired the position so named for him today. The position was, initially, called Harold, but the original Harold sued so we now use “Herald”. (Very touchy these legal things.)

As for the question of how Herald gets to every meeting all the time, Herald is all powerful. He knows everything about you (with the exception of the member number you forgot at home forcing you to sign a release in order to fight). He drives a sleigh (1971 El Camino) with 9 tiny reindeer (8 naughas and a pot belly pig). He makes a list of who had a hangover and who did not after every event including what they drank, and checks the flavors of each beverage twice.

So, when you see herald, you should approach him with reverence. Thank him for aiding all who needs him. Praise him for his timely pronouncements and explanations. And, without fail, slap him silly for taking two sips of your mead (it’s an old pagan tradition, just do it and don’t ask questions).

Ann




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