[ANSTHRLD] Public internal commentary problems?

[Darlene Vandever]

Dear Heralds,

While a person can truly know that they are being belittled when the actual
words are used I wish to caution about taking umbrage at a "tone". "Tone" is
often strictly the interpretation of the person receiving the words. It can
be colored by their own insecurities and predjudices. How often, for
example, have we seen someone take offense at the "tone" of an email
post...when the thing is totally devoid of tone in the first place. How much
more easily can "tone" be misinterpreted or scewed in person? Perhaps you
have had a run in with this person before or perhaps you feel threatened by
them in some way? Perhaps you are insecure about your art or your
calligraphy or your ability to blazon something and then even kind
suggestions can feel like a censure. As a teacher of teenagers mundanely, I
am acutely aware of how quickly what starts out as a sincere attempt to help
can turn into an unintented put-down.

While all of us are perfectly capable of detecting an insult when it is
given, I do ask that each of us try to learn to really look at what we think
is an insult before we actually decide that it is.
Annes
"Munerius Ultra Sanitas"