HERB - The Pied Piper of Brackendelve (Long)

[Gaylin Walli]

Once upon a time, not long ago in the Canton of Brackendelve
which resides in the Kingdom of the Middle, a fair maid went
gathering wild berries in a field nearby her cottage. As she
spent a pleasant morning filling her basket with fresh
mulberries, she made sure to pay attention to the growing
plants nearby in the event that she would need any of them
in an emergency.

On a whim, the fair maid took an alternate path around her
field in hopes of finding more berries on bigger trees that
she though she spied in the distance. And, low and behold,
she did find those berries and was grateful for taking a
road less traveled.

As she celebrated her bountiful find by extending her picking
hours into the heat of the afternoon, she noticed suddenly three
things. A beautiful apple tree grew not far from the mullberry
tree she was picking. She would have to remember that tree
for the fall when apples were ripe. A ancient pear tree was
also there. Again, something to remember for future harvesting.

But the most important thing she spied at the edge of the field
with the glorious fruit bounty was plant upon plant upon plant
of lush, green and healthy catnip. Each plant nearly reached
her knees in height and she was ecstatic that such a bounty
was so close to her home. Even more important, she needed
some for her current herbal preparations for friends who had
a nasty habit of overimbibing at the local pub. As everyone
knows, a tea of catnip works on unsettled stomachs quite
nicely.

So, in order to make her herbal gifts for friends, she took out
her trust knife which she always carried with her for just such
an emergency (or in case of attack) and proceeded to harvest
several bushes worth of plants because there were plenty to
go around should anyone else in her canton need some. Berries
in a basket slung over her shoulder and catnip bushes clutched
happily to her breast, the fair maid skipped home, realizing
that being out in the full heat of the afternoon was not only
foolish but unsafe without a hat.

As she followed the her path back home, she saw a number of
her neighbors along the way. And while they all often thought
her quite strange, they were invariably polite, said hello,
and helped her with her cart when she was carrying things she
has bought at the local market. Today was not the same.
Instead of saying hello, they politely smiled, perhaps waved
a bit, laughed and quickly retreated.

"Odd." thought the maid, "They've seen me return from berry
ppicking before and never given me that greeting. I wear nothing
different today than I did any other day. Perhaps my hair is
mussed from skipping and being out in the sun."

The response of smiles and laughter continued the entire path
until she finally reached her cottage door. Because her hands
were full, she had to switch plants and herbs and basket around
until she had a free hand. In fact, she had to set down her best
picking basket in order to push open the door. And in the process
of doing so, she spied the source of the smiles and laughter she
had encountered during her trek.

Not a few feet away from the door were four stray cats rolling
around in the bits of catnip that had fallen from her arms as she
struggled to find a free hand.

Now, this tale would normally end here, but it was widley known
that the fair maid had cats of her own. Middle aged, quiet, ones
never going outside to bother the neighbors or get into garbage
like some strays. The fair maid, seeing the effect that the catnip
had on the strays who had followed her, determined to avoid a
similar incident inside her cottage with her normally peaceful and
loving cats, chose to take her catnip find into the cellar and hand it
to dry there, rather than near the hearth.

Having done so, she returned to her kitchen, set her berries in the
sink for washing and use later, and glady relaxed into her favorite
chair with a contented sigh knowing that she had had a full and
productive morning.

As was normally the case when she sat in her favorite chair, the
fair maid's normally peaceful and loving cats leapt up into her lap
for at least a quick scratch on the head, a coo in the ear, and pat
on the behind. This normally peacefull and quite relaxing ritual,
sadly, turned into what locals now call "The Day of the Wretched
Noise."

For you see, when the fair maid sat down, gave a scritch and
closed her eyes, both her normally peaceful and loving cats
discovered that in the heat of the late morning, the fair made
had perspired on her shift. And in the process of doing so, with
bushels of catnip clutched to her breast as she innocently skipped
home, she had managed to create perhaps one of the most
attractive and pleasing scents any cat could want: a piece of
comfy, familiar cloth, soaked in the scent of human sweat and
completely covered with catnip essence.

The End.

Jasmine "I should have changed my t-shirt" Cordoba
Iasmin de Cordoba
gwalli at infoengine.com

Yes. It's a true story.
============================================================================
Go to http://lists.ansteorra.org/lists.html to perform mailing list tasks.