[Loch-ruadh] Beer Warning Labels
Jane Sitton
jane.sitton at radioshack.com
Tue Jun 26 08:45:34 PDT 2001
Greetings!
Padraig liked this so much when I showed it to him last night at Moot that I
thought I'd share it with the populace. (Edited for a "G" rating.) Enjoy!
Madelina
Subject: Beer Warning Labels
Due to increasing products liability litigation,
American beer Brewers have accepted the FDA's
suggestion that the following warning labels be
placed immediately on all beer containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you
wondering what the h*ll happened to your bra.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think
you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor
in dancing like an a**hole.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
tell the same boring story over and over again until
your friends leave.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you
to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think
you can logically converse with members of the
opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
roll over in the morning and see something really
scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading
cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the
illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and
more handsome than some really, really big guy named
FRANZ.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
believe you are invisible.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a
disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small
(and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to
literally disappear.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE
pregnancy.
More information about the Loch-Ruadh
mailing list