[Loch-Ruadh] Irish joke

[Jane Sitton]

Joke for Padraig (and other Irish... I'm an equal
opportunity offender):

Letter from an Irish mother:

Dear Paddy,

Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive.  I
am writing this slowly because I know you can't read
fast.  You won't know this house when you come home,
as we've moved.  About your father, he's got a lovely
new job.  He has 500 hundred men under him, he cuts
the grass at McFeeney's cemetery.  Your sister Peggy
had a baby this morning.  I haven't found out if it's
a boy or a girl, so I don't know if you are an aunt or
an uncle.  I went to the doctors on Thursday and your
father came with me. The doctor put a small tube in my
mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes.  Your
father offered to buy it from him.  Your Uncle Mick
drowned last week in a vat of whiskey at a Tullamore's
Distillery.  Some of his co-workers tried to save him,
but he fought them off bravely.  They cremated the
body last week, and it took three days to put the fire
out.  It only rained twice this week, once for three
days, then for four.  We had a letter from the
undertaker, he said if the last payment on you
grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she
comes.

Your Loving Mother

P.S. I was going to send twenty Euros, but I have
already sealed the envelope.

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