[Loch-Ruadh] Funnies

[PBW]

Figured we can all use a smile…
Magdalea
How to Impress a Woman 
Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her, Hold her, Surprise her,
Compliment her, Smile at her, Laugh with her, Cry with her, Cuddle with
her, Shop with her, Give her jewelry, Buy her flowers, Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her, Go to the end of the earth and back for her. 
How to Impress a Man 
Show up naked. 
Bring beer.
With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs
oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society: 
DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips
caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost,
compared to a control group of 0.2 percent. 
PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to
actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one. 
CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming urge
to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and
"little" accidents. 
COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men
administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle.
Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new
clothing. 
BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to
buy their mates expensive jewelry and gifts after taking this drug for
only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a
period longer than your favorite store's return limit. 
NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to
turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family
members. 
FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases
back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car
rides. 
FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with
O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra. 
LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked
about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and
Presidential Strength versions.
 
 
 
 

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