[Loch-Ruadh] birthday bash

[Terry Varner]

As the Millenium Birthday Bash draws near here are just a few of the 
thoughts and circumstances that might occur to you guys just turning 50.

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that 
everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one so I'm wearing my garage door 
opener.
......................
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people 
didn't like me anyway.
.......................
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer 
cans!
.......................
I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have 
something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.
.......................
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping 
Rust."
.......................
I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease.... that's when your chest is 
falling into your drawers!
.........................
Then there is the dreaded dunlop disease....
That is when your belly done lopped over your belt.
..................................
You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you 
got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"
.........................
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an 
emergency. I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"
...........................
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we 
supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they just put their 
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they 
delivered the mail?
............................
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as 
they get older then it dawned on me . . they were cramming for their finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.



Tegwared McAuley(mka Terry Varner)
Loch Ruadh Archery Marshal
You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it 
should, use WD-40.
If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape

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