[Loch-Ruadh] Fw: No Shit, There I Was

Steve K. Rourke steverourke at charter.net
Fri Aug 20 16:39:40 PDT 2004

This was too funny not to pass on. 

> One of the many things I did at Pennsic this year was to attend a
> Bardic Coaching Class.  How to tell a story, and to tell it well,
> while still keeping your audience's attention.  This story, which some
> of you may have heard before, is the result of the suggestions made in
> that class.
> No shit, there I was...
>   It was my second Pennsic.  I had been badly injured shortly before
> the event and if I was to go at all, I had to come in a wheelchair.  I
> had two wheelchairs -- a manual one for daytime use and an electric
> one for use at night when I was tired.
>   For those of you who are unfamiliar with electric wheelchairs or
> electric motors in general they make a kind of low whirring whining
> noise.  Never very loud, mind you, but always there.  This wheelchair
> was no exception to that rule.
>   In the interests of keeping me from getting another injury a friend
> of mine had tied a broad beamed flashlight to the bottom of my bad leg
> - illuminating a small patch of ground directly in front of me.  I
> still couldn't go very fast at night, but at least I could see.
>   It was very late one night and I was leaving the Barn to go down to
> the lakeside, where I was camped.  On this evening I was taking the
> road down Runestone Hill.  Great Eastern Highway was shorter, but also
> darker and steeper.  Up ahead of me in the shadows I could just barely
> see a figure stumbling down the hillside.  Periodically he would stop
> and turn to look in my general direction, after which he would quicken
> pace for a moment or two.
>   Eventually I caught up with him.  He was pale and a bit shaken but
> very relieved to see that it had only been a girl in a wheelchair who
> had been following him.  Rather than merely being three sheets to the
> wind he had had enough to drink so as to be four or five or perhaps
> even six sheets to the wind.  And, in this sodden state, when he
> looked back into the darkness, he had thought that a giant sewing
> machine was chasing him down Runestone Hill.
> -M

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