[Loch-Ruadh] Fw: No Shit, There I Was
Steve K. Rourke
steverourke at charter.net
Fri Aug 20 16:39:40 PDT 2004
This was too funny not to pass on.
> One of the many things I did at Pennsic this year was to attend a
> Bardic Coaching Class. How to tell a story, and to tell it well,
> while still keeping your audience's attention. This story, which some
> of you may have heard before, is the result of the suggestions made in
> that class.
> No shit, there I was...
> It was my second Pennsic. I had been badly injured shortly before
> the event and if I was to go at all, I had to come in a wheelchair. I
> had two wheelchairs -- a manual one for daytime use and an electric
> one for use at night when I was tired.
> For those of you who are unfamiliar with electric wheelchairs or
> electric motors in general they make a kind of low whirring whining
> noise. Never very loud, mind you, but always there. This wheelchair
> was no exception to that rule.
> In the interests of keeping me from getting another injury a friend
> of mine had tied a broad beamed flashlight to the bottom of my bad leg
> - illuminating a small patch of ground directly in front of me. I
> still couldn't go very fast at night, but at least I could see.
> It was very late one night and I was leaving the Barn to go down to
> the lakeside, where I was camped. On this evening I was taking the
> road down Runestone Hill. Great Eastern Highway was shorter, but also
> darker and steeper. Up ahead of me in the shadows I could just barely
> see a figure stumbling down the hillside. Periodically he would stop
> and turn to look in my general direction, after which he would quicken
> pace for a moment or two.
> Eventually I caught up with him. He was pale and a bit shaken but
> very relieved to see that it had only been a girl in a wheelchair who
> had been following him. Rather than merely being three sheets to the
> wind he had had enough to drink so as to be four or five or perhaps
> even six sheets to the wind. And, in this sodden state, when he
> looked back into the darkness, he had thought that a giant sewing
> machine was chasing him down Runestone Hill.
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