[Loch-Ruadh] OT-Thought you might like this

[ykt ktykt]

If I could read, I would have read this!

Grainne


> [Original Message]
> From: Robyn Cantley <elyssiaxvx at hotmail.com>
> To: <loch-ruadh at ansteorra.org>
> Date: 05/27/2004 3:29:41 PM
> Subject: [Loch-Ruadh] OT-Thought you might like this
>
>
>
>
>
> And they wonder why people make mistooks.... Why English Is So Difficult!
>
> We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox
became 
> oxen not oxes.
>
> One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose 
> should never be meese.
>
> You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of 
house 
> is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, why 
> shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
>
> If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would
a 
> pair be called beet?   If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why 
> shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
>
> Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural 
would 
> never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
>
> We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say  mother, 
we 
> never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but 
> imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
>
> Some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English
>
> > > > > 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. > > > 2) The farm was 
> >used to produce produce. > > > 3) The dump was so full that it had to 
> >refuse more refuse. > > > 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. > > >
5) 
> >He   could lead if he would get the lead out. > > > 6) The soldier
decided 
> >to desert his dessert in the desert. > > > 7) Since there is no time
like 
> >the present, he thought it was time to present the present. > > > 8) At
the 
> >Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum. > > > 9) When 
> >shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. > > > 10) I did not object to
the 
> >object. > > > 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. > > > 12) 
> >There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. > > > 13) They were
too 
> >close to the door to close it. > > > 14) The buck does funny things when 
> >the does are present. > > > 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into
a 
> >sewer line. > > > 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow
to 
> >sow. > > > 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. > > > 18) After
a 
> >number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number. > > > 19) Upon seeing
the 
> >tear in the painting I shed a tear. > > > 20) I had to subject the
subject 
> >to a series of tests. > > > 21) How can I intimate this to my most
intimate 
> >friend? > > > 22) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.
>
> Screwy pronunciations can mess up your mind!  For example... If you have
a 
> rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a tree!
>
> Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
>
> There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine
in 
> pineapple.  English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries
in 
> France. Sweetmeats are candies while
> Sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.  We take English for granted.
But 
> if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,
boxing 
> rings are square and a guinea
> Pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.  And why is it that writers 
> write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don’t ham?  
> Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you 
> have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
> What do you call it?
> If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
> If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
>
> Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be 
> committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
> In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
> Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
> Have noses that run and feet that smell?
> How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same?
> While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
>
> You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house 
> can burn up as it
> burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an 
> alarm goes off by going on.
>
> English was invented by people, across the ages, and it reflects the 
> creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).
> That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
lights 
> are out, they are nvisible.
> That's about enough of this stuff.
>
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