[Loch-Ruadh] My First Speech if I were elected President.

[Julie Self]

VIVAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gwenllian
Loch Ruadh Rocks!!





>From: "Terry Varner" <tdv250 at hotmail.com>
>Reply-To: "Shire of Loch Ruadh, Kingdom of Ansteorra, SCA,Inc." 
><loch-ruadh at ansteorra.org>
>To: loch-ruadh at ansteorra.org
>Subject: [Loch-Ruadh] My First Speech if I were elected President.
>Date: Thu, 27 May 2004 16:12:36 -0500
>
>My fellow Americans:
>
>As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been
>completed.
>
>Since congress does not want to spend any more money
>on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
>
>This morning I gave the order for a complete removal
>of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be
>complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the
>reckoning.
>
>Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the
>names of countries which have stood by our side during
>the Iraq conflict. This list is short: The United
>Kingdom, Bulgaria, Australia, Norway and Poland
>are some of the countries listed there.
>
>The other list contains everyone not on the first
>list. Most of the world's nations are on that list.
>
>My press secretary will be distributing copies of both
>lists later this evening.
>
>Let me start by saying that effective immediately,
>foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases
>immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during
>the first year alone will pretty much pay for the
>costs of the Iraqi war.
>
>The American people are no longer going to pour money
>into third world hell- holes and watch those
>government leaders grow fat on corruption.
>
>Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic?
>Call France.
>
>In the future, together with Congress, I will work to
>cut taxes and solve some local problems.
>
>On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw
>with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you
>and all your friends from the face of the earth.
>
>Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try
>France, or maybe China.
>
>To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. You, boys.
>Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David
>is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for
>negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
>tables, too.
>
>I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic
>relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for
>all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as
>well. Bon chance, mes amis.
>
>I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin
>towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in
>Manhattan with more than two unpaid tickets to sites
>where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
>crushed.
>
>I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this.
>Pay your tickets tomorrow or watch your precious
>Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of
>the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
>
>A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List
>2. Since we are going to be seeing a lot more of each
>other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off
>for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox
>and his entire corrupt government really need an
>attitude adjustment. I have a couple of extra tank and
>infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I'm
>gonna put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing
>something with your oil.
>
>Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the
>NAFTA treaty--starting now.
>
>It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and
>its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism.
>I answer them by saying darn tootin'.
>
>Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent
>life around the world has only earned us the undying
>enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is
>time to cut taxes here because we will not be spending
>on other peoples problems.
>
>To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks
>guys. We owe you and shall take care of you--
>
>with monetary assistance, tax incentives, tourist
>
>dollars and any other way we can!
>
>
>To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
>
>
>Thank you, good night and....God bless America...
>
>
>
>
>
>Tegwared McAuley(mka Terry Varner)
>Loch Ruadh Archery Marshal
>You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it 
>should, use WD-40.
>If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape
>
>
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>Loch-Ruadh at ansteorra.org
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