[Loch-Ruadh] (no subject)

[Tim Cantley]

I wish Francesca could see your response, Padraig.  I've tried many times to 
explain things like this to her and end up stating, "it's a guy thing" :)  
She still doesn't understand why little boys like to get dirty, play with 
bugs and hit things.  Hey, it's a guy thing :)

Sean


From: "Padraig Ruad O'Maolagain" <padraig_ruad at irishbard.org>
Reply-To: "Shire of Loch Ruadh, Kingdom of Ansteorra, SCA,Inc." 
<loch-ruadh at ansteorra.org>
To: "Shire of Loch Ruadh, Kingdom of Ansteorra, SCA,Inc." 
<loch-ruadh at ansteorra.org>
Subject: Re: [Loch-Ruadh] (no subject)
Date: Wed, 7 Dec 2005 13:28:54 -0600

Hilarious and true, except for one thing:  all men know the "why" about all 
these items, we have just never figured out how to explain it to women.  I 
think it is gender linked - you HAVE to be male to understand it, just as 
there are things you HAVE to be female to understand.  ;-)

Padraig

Gwenllian wrote:
>
>
>Subject: Men's gifts
>With the holidays approaching, use these Shopping Rules for Men's  Gifts
>
>Rule #1:
>
>When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not  matter if
>he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet  to
>complain.  As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No  one
>knows why.
>
>Rule #2:
>
>If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy  him anything with the
>word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two  words.
>"Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. "By-the-way, are
>you  through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one  knows
>why.
>
>
>Rule #3:
>
>If you are really, really broke, buy him  anything for his car. A
>99-cent  ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer  or something to hang from
>his  rear view mirror. Men love gifts for  their cars. No one knows why.
>
>
>Rule #4:
>
>Do not buy men socks. Do not  buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes.
>I was told that if God had wanted  men to wear bathrobes, he
>wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
>
>
>Rule  #5:
>
>
>You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they  have
>worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen  TV
>with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he
>flips,  and flips, and flips.
>
>
>Rule #6:
>
>Do not buy a man any of those fancy  liqueurs, except Godiva.  If you do, 
>it will
>sit in a cupboard for 23 years.
>
>
>Rule  #7:
>
>Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave  or
>deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
>
>
>Rule  #8:
>
>Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within  a
>couple  of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Socks. Shorts.
>Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink. You get the idea. No one  knows
>why.
>
>
>Rule #9:
>
>Never buy a man anything that says "some  assembly required" on
>the  box.  It will ruin his day and he will  always have parts left  over.
>
>
>Rule #10:
>
>Good places to shop for  men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr
>Lumber, Home Depot, Lowes, John Deere,  Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab
>Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance  Centers are also excellent 
>men's
>stores.)  It doesn't matter if he  doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA 
>Auto,
>eh?
>Must be something I need.  Hey isn't this a starter for a '68
>Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")
>
>
>Rule  #11:
>
>
>Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will  barbecue.
>Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank.  Tell
>him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who  wants
>a  hamburger?"
>
>
>Rule #12:
>
>Tickets to a football, hockey  or basketball game are a smart gift.
>However, he will not appreciate tickets  to "A Retrospective of
>19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
>
>
>Rule  #13:
>
>Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a Chainsaw.
>If  you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens
>when he gets a  label maker.
>
>
>Rule #14:
>
>It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or  an aluminum
>extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must  be
>an extension ladder. No one knows why.
>
>
>Rule #15:
>
>Rope. Men love  rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or
>at  least the Boy  Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8"
>manila rope. No one  knows why.
>
>
>Julie/Gwen/Mom
>Loch Ruadh Rocks!!

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