[Loch-Ruadh] Thank You Very Much
Terry Sikes
tdsikes at prodigy.net
Fri Dec 9 18:20:07 PST 2005
Thank You Very Much, that was a good laugh.
Terrence
DONALD H MCKINNON <gruffydd_vawr at sbcglobal.net> wrote:
-----Original Message-----
From: Slack, Lakita A.
Sent: Friday, December 09, 2005 3:19 PM
To: Wade, Virgie V.; McKinnon, Don; McCalib, April; Aungie (E-mail)
Subject: Thank You
My dear Friends,
I want to wish each of you a very MERRY
CHRISTMAS
and a wonderful new year to come!
You are all special to me and I appreciate and
love each
and everyone of you!!!
But especially, my heartfelt thanks goes out to
all those who
have taken their time and trouble to send me
"forwards" over the past 12 months.
&nbs! p; Thank you for making me feel safe, secure,
blessed, and wealthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about
rat crap in the
glue on envelopes cause I now have to go get a
wet towel every time I need
to seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for
the same reason.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca
Cola because it
can remove toilet stains.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepp! er since the
people who make
these products are atheists who refuse to put
"Under God" on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave
because it causes
cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones
because I could
be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use deodorant! Since it causes
cancer, even though
I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone
might drug me
with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from nor send
packages by UPS or
FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in
disguise.
&! nbsp;
I no longer answer the phone because someone
will ask me to
dial a number for which I will get a phone bill
with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are
actually
horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longe! r have any sneakers -- but that will
change once I
receive my free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from
Neiman Marcus
since I now have their recipe.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last
count I have
363,214 angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only
answers my prayers
if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends
and make a wish within five
minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it
to a sick girl
who is about to die in the hospital (for the
1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all - but that
will change once I
receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are
sending me for
participating in their special email program.
Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out
for me that I
will now return the favor!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least
144,000 people in the
next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked
case of diarrhea will
land on your head at 5:00 PM (CDT) this
afternoon. I know this will occur
because it actually happened to a friend of my
next door
neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's
cousin's beautician.
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