[Namron] Fwd: signs you're in the sca

[Cathy Robinson]

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Thought ya'll would enjoy and Merry Christmas from Designs by Flowena
>From: Flowena at aol.com
>To: flowena at hotmail.com
>Subject: signs you're in the sca
>Date: Tue, 24 Dec 2002 14:25:07 EST
>
>) You go to a Catholic mass with your in-laws, and you spend the whole time
>admiring the garb on the priest and in the stained glass windows.
>
>2) You have to find something else to wear on Halloween, because your kit
>just doesn't feel like a costume anymore.
>
>3) Your coworkers seem a little concerned that you're planning a "period"
>party, and you're male.
>
>4) "Dining room large enough for a dozen scribes and all their equipment" or
>"garden big enough to hold a battle practice" appears on the must-have list
>for your new house.
>
>5) You can't decide whether to wear the Celtic kit or the Norman kit for a
>costume to your company's costume ball.
>
>6) You go to the hardware store and ask for a drawknife for shaving rattan,
>only to have them explain that no one makes them any more.
>
>7) Your "best china" consists of wooden feast gear and drinking horns.
>
>8) The worst loss of your flooded basement is not the washer or the furnace,
>but the scrolls you were framing...
>
>9) You plan your car-trip vacations around events happening in other areas
>and even pack accordingly.
>
>10) Your mom gives you a book about chivalry for your birthday, inscribed
>with the words "chivalry will never die as long as there are hearts as true
>
>as yours."
>
>11) You're male and you see an attractive woman in a skin-tight black velvet
>dress, and your primary thought is "Wow!! What I wouldn't give for ten yards
>of that!"
>
>12) You're babysitting and you wonder if they'd give you the curtains as pay
>
>13) The gynecologist asks "When is your period?" and you answer "Early 14th
>century (or whenever)".
>
>14) You go to a funeral and spend your time looking at the great pavilion
>over the gravesite and wonder where they got it
>
>15) Cleaning your knives (and axes, and swords and spears) is not only an
>entire evening's work, but an entire evening's entertainment!
>
>16) You start wearing your tankard and belt pouch around with your mundanes,
>because it's so darn convenient.
>
>17) You don't think twice about inviting all your friends over to watch
>"Scourge of the Black Death" on the History Channel, and have no doubts that
>
>almost everyone will come.
>
>18) Your future husband's wedding garb costs more than yours, and has more
>trim.
>
>19) "Two helmets, Anglo-Norman style preferred" appears on your wedding
>registry.
>
>20) You've called your dorm ahead of time to ask if it's OK to keep swords
>in your room.
>
>21) You realize you've used porta-loos more often than "flushies" recently.
>
>22) A gift certificate at an upholstery store was one of your favorite
>birthday gifts this year.
>
>23) The worst news you've had all year is that the leather store near you is
>closing!
>
>24) You're disappointed that your British Literature textbook doesn't have
>Beowulf in parallel text.
>
>25) You enter your lady's boudoir for the first time, and the first words to
>escape your lips are "Nice sewing machine!".
>
>26) Costumed people going in to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show have asked
>you about your "funny clothes".
>
>27) You're female and you've walked straight into a door on a Monday morning
>because you just expected the co-worker you're entering with to stop and
>open it for you.
>
>28) After viewing this list, your mundane significant other chuckles for
>days, while you mutter to yourself "I don't see what's so funny about that."
>
>29) You show up for work on Monday with the most INTERESTING bruises. (Or
>possibly a mail weave sunburn).
>
>30) You get mail as a wedding present.
>
>31) A man says "whoa! Nice legs! Hubba hubba!" and he's talking about your
>armour.
>
>32) You rattle when you walk, because you're wearing a mail shirt under your
>shirt to save carrying it.
>
>33) Street signs look like armour trees, round shields, war shields...
>
>34) If you're bruised black and blue every Monday morning.... and you
>enjoyed getting that way.
>
>35) You pick up the bin lid and automatically snap it up to a defensive
>position.
>
>36) You're wearing mail to the office hidden under your jumper because you
>need to get used to moving round in it.
>
>37) You sneer at sword fights in films because any fool can tell they're not
>within striking distance of their opponents
>
>38) Dessert is served in stainless steel dishes, you start speculating on
>how easy they would be to beat into shield bosses.
>
>39) You were asked to find a broom handle to work a jack with and couldn't
>find a broom but came back with a longaxe and a spear.
>
>40) You can describe the tactics, strategy, weapons, armour and troops used
>in hundreds of medieval battles, but don't know why they were fought.
>
>41) You read a book that involves the plague and can diagnose which of the
>two or three types of plague it is from the symptoms.
>
>42) The decorating scheme of your home is "bookcase eclectic".
>
>43) You take a medieval history course in college, and find out you already
>own the textbooks.
>
>44) You describe your company's logo to the printer's shop using heraldic
>terms.
>
>45) Instead of having dreams about being out in public with no clothes on,
>you have dreams about being at an event in mundane clothing.
>
>46) You catch yourself thinking "'Gules, three chevrons or'. Nice tabard.
>Classic Anglo-Norman style, easily visible. Oh! I guess it'd better be
>
>visible, he's a road repair worker!"
>
>47) You go running up the stairs at work and reach down to hold the hem of
>your underdress up so as not to trip over it... and you're wearing trousers.
>
>48) You dress your decorative lawn elves/animals in period kit matching your
>own.
>
>49) You can cook an egg on a rock, but not toast in a toaster.
>
>50) You can make a loaf of bread faster than you can program a bread
>machine.
>
>51) You make all your own bread and you don't own a bread pan.
>
>52) Your mundane friends wangle invitations for Sunday supper so they can
>sample the feast leftovers.
>
>53) Your 8-year-old daughter gets a poseable Barbie for her birthday and you
>immediately see if she can assume all of the heraldic positions with an eye
>toward a future heraldry class.
>
>54) A student greets you in a Monday morning class by asking "So, did your
>wife kill anyone this weekend?"
>
>55) Your wife asks you "Do you want me to buy you some black tights for the
>wedding we're going to this weekend?" and you say YES.
>
>56) Your friend invites you to a "dress nice" party, and you realize that
>your best looking clothes are your banquet kit.
>
>57) Your friend tells you her new boyfriend works in a fabric store and your
>first thought is "How cool!"
>
>58) The only time you can see your living room floor is when your van is
>packed for an event.
>
>59) You buy a TOWN out of rivets.
>
>60) Your bible study is going over the Armour of God... and they ask you to
>bring examples.
>
>61) You see a mother tenderly picking a splinter out of her son's hand with
>a shortsword.
>
>62) You pull out a wax tablet to write down someone's email address at an
>event
>
>63) You buy a bottle of booze just for the neat pouch.
>
>64) Your buying black walnuts and ferrous sulfate from a health food store
>means a new "dye" not a new diet"
>

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