[Namron] Re: [Ansteorra] Newcomers

[Isobel de Kirkbryde]

I am beginning to see a pattern from those who respond
about what helps to fit in quickly.  These are just
observations and points I am finding in the process of
evaluating how to best resolve the newbie/veteran
comfort level question.

1.  Those who approach the game fearlessly seem to
become active more quickly than those who are afraid
of being embarrased or are generally shy in nature. 
Some people don't appear shy after you get to know
them, but really are and are afraid of making a social
faux pas -- afraid to get egg on their faces.  No one
can change someone else's talents or basic
personality.

I may not appear shy once you get to know me.  But I
have an anxious personality and am terrified of being
embarrassed.  Add to that, that I tend to be a
perfectionist, and jumping off a cliff just isn't an
easy thing for me to do.  My natural tendency in an
unfamiliar setting is to hang back, observe, and hope
that someone will notice that I don't fit in.  It may
not be a very productive approach, but I'd bet my next
dollar that I'm not the only one with that type of
shyness which contributes to feeling left out.  

2.  Those who know what they want to do in the Society
seem to be more active more quickly than those who
have to hunt around for a place to fit.    Some people
know from day one what they want to do in the Society
-- such as becoming a fighter or an archer, or a
brewer, or to cook wonderful feasts.  Others have to
find things that aren't quite as "out there" initially
to do that suits talents and personality.  This means
the run before the jump may be quite a bit longer.

I know I can't fight.  I'm physically not capable of
playing in that arena.  I tried Medieval dance and I
love it, but my body doesn't.  So that's out for me. 
I also can't spend hours on my feet in a kitchen for
the same reason.  The "handwork" I know how to do is
far from period.  Yes, I can make a simple set of
garb, but I don't knit, I don't do needlepoint, I
don't weave.  While I like music, I am not a star
musician who can play many instruments and teach
others to do the same.    I am coming to understand
that while I'm out there exploring and trying to find
my niche, just because I haven't found my spot yet,
doesn't mean I have been rejected.  The exploration
takes some time.  I wonder if some who feel rejected
really are just having a hard time finding where their
talents and personality fit into the puzzle.  I think
that is where the veterans are saying be persistent,
be patient.  Okay, so how do we get this message to
the newbies -- make them feel welcome while the search
for their own way to play takes awhile? How to we
perpetuate the message of "If at first you don't
succeed, try, try again?"

I love the suggestion of not only mentoring, but
different mentors at different times to show the many
faces of the SCA to newbies.  That's a marvelous idea.
 It just has to be orchestrated and I am concerned
that in general the hospitalers seem overwhelmed
already and that they may not be the best ones to set
up and run a mentoring program even though their
knowledge and assistance may be essential to its
success. 

3.  I know EVERY organization no matter how big or how
small has people that are difficult to get along with,
the anal retentive zealot, those who would give of
themselves until they fall over in a heap, and those
who want to participate and don't know how to get in
the door.  I have seen this everywhere -- schools,
politics, churches, other non-profits, etc.  

I checked the results of the poll that the SCA
sponsored and there is a dramatic drop off in
participation after just a few years and then some
stray peaks of older hands.  If we want to avoid the
initial drop off of persons we need to make access
easier and participation easier so that the ones who
are working don't burn out.  I think often the
veterans don't just become more issue focused, they
work themselves to death and are tired.  If we lose
them, then who will sponsor and mentor the newbies? 
We need them to stay in to continue the game, too.  It
is a balancing act.

All these questions pique my interest in finding ways
to answer the questions, and more questions to ask. 

If this were a problem easily resolved, it would have
happened a long time ago and we wouldn't still be
discussing it on both sides.  Obviously, there are
lots of complicating factors which need to be taken
into consideration. 

Keep the ideas coming.  The more information I can
gather, the  clearer the picture becomes.

Thanks to all who have responded.  It really is
helping to spark ideas and encourage me to keep trying
to find a way to help with this.



=====
Isobel de Kirkbryde married to a Laurel (Michael Fenwick of Fotheringhay)

Mundanes:  Mike and Melody Andrews


		
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