[Namron] Re: The Black Death

[Isobel de Kirkbryde]

As a newbie, I probably have no "right" to say what I
am about to, but I'm going to put my head on the
chopping block anyway.

I wasn't at Protectorate and as far as I am concerned,
the situation is over whether it was handled well or
poorly.  End of discussion.  I certainly don't want to
hear any more about it.  I can't do anything to fix it
and the griping is getting on my nerves. 

I have actively been trying to play in the SCA for
well over a year.  (I wanted to 20 years ago, but my
first husband would have none of it.) I have had no
guidance and pretty much had to figure things out on
my own.  I have asked to work, been promised I could
and then no one ever called to assign a task.  So, I
find events very boring.  I am not a fighter.  I am
not an archer.  I am not a drinker -- at least of beer
and ale.  So, I sit and watch people who know each
other congregate in little groups.  I sit and watch
people walk by me and never say hello.  I sit and
watch, but I don't belong. 

I have tried to do more to participate.  I tried
attending populace meetings, but the building echoes,
the acoustics are terrible and my hearing aids get
over loaded to the point I am a shaking mess at the
end.  Okay, I can't handle that. 

I attended Waytes and Measures.  In fact, they played
for my wedding.  But, I can no longer play the viola
because of my neck and back.  I don't know how to play
other "period" instruments, so it got pretty boring to
sit and watch every time I went.

I tried dancing.  I love it, but my back doesn't and
sadly I had to quit that activity.

I tried "stich -n- bitch" hoping to have some guidance
on garb for my persona.  I discovered instead it was
handwork that I was totally unfamiliar with and I felt
very uncomfortable being there.  So that one was out.

I tried attending a heraldry meeting in the hopes of
learning more about what is appropriate to develop my
persona around.  Instead it was a bitch session about
people who had filed things that couldn't be accepted
for this reason or that one and was way over my head. 
Next?

I attended charter painting.  I have never done this
in my life.  The first time I walked in I was shown
the paints, samples to work on, given instructions, a
chair, shown where the goodies and drinks were and was
expected to participate.  I did one sample during the
session.  It wasn't great, but I was learning.  The
next time, I was welcome back.  There was laughter and
stories and taking turns at the table because so many
people were there.  I went back again.  On the third
visit, I am treated like I belong and have always
belonged.  Hallelujah!  I finally found a place to
feel wanted.

I am stubborn and don't give up easily.  How many
other newbies would go through all those things, feel
totally unwelcome and keep on trying?  I was lucky
enough to have a Laurel to guide me.  When I said this
didn't work or that didn't work, he knew of other
things to offer me.

If the organization is going to survive, it must
welcome newbies openly.  It must offer something fun
to do.  It must offer educational opportunities. 
There must NOT be an assumption that everyone who is
in garb knows the rules, the game, the options, who is
in charge of what, how to become an active
participant, etc.  Mentoring is desperately needed. 
When someone new comes into the fold a mentor should
be assigned to help them through all the steps
necessary to not make a fool of themselves, to feel
welcome, and to learn more about how to play to have
fun.  

I sure wish someone other than my husband had
befriended me and taken me under their wing.  Learning
all this on my own is hard.  That's OK.  I'm a tough
old bird.  I wanted to play in the SCA for 20 years. 
Now that I have my chance, being ignored isn't going
to stop me.  I will find a way.  But, how many other
newbies are you going to lose by ignoring them and
then they have to observe these nasty word battles?  

Leave the fighting for the field and reach out and
help someone else have fun, too.  They might be
grateful. 



=====
Isobel de Kirkbryde married to a Laurel (Michael Fenwick of Fotheringhay)

Mundanes:  Mike and Melody Andrews


		
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