[Namron] Black Death - Remedies

[muriel at entelesoft.com]

That Ulfie has new grandbabies is not gossip - Ulf himself told us all.
That Barat is in the hospital is also something that Barat is passing on
through others.  Scandalous talk about other people's secrets or personal
behavior is what needs to stop.  That's what I meant as "gossip".

I thought that was understood.  Sorry.

There are, indeed, two things, knowledge and opinion, of which the one makes
its possessor really to know, the other to be ignorant.
Hippocrates
  -----Original Message-----
  From: Jennifer [mailto:dagmarandowen at cox.net]
  Sent: Tuesday, October 19, 2004 3:51 PM
  To: kim at entelesoft.com; Barony of Namron
  Subject: Re: [Namron] Black Death - Remedies


  Don't discuss problems?  So we should not discuss that Barrot is in the
hospitle, or that our B and B's two new wonderful grandbabies are here a
little early?  What about announcing birthdays, weddings, and the like, may
we gossip about those happy things?

  Muriel, I am not trying to argue with you, just to point out that
gossiping is not only human nature, but a vital part of how we interact with
one another.


  Dagmar
  Jennifer Jackson
  Discovery Toys, learning through play.
  www.discoverytoyslink.com/toysbyjennifer
    ----- Original Message -----
    From: muriel at entelesoft.com
    To: namron at ansteorra.org
    Sent: Wednesday, October 20, 2004 5:27 PM
    Subject: [Namron] Black Death - Remedies


    "Just all getting along" won't happen.  But I propose the following to
limit our plague:

    1.  DON'T GOSSIP  (don't discuss your or other's problems with or in
front of uninvolved parties)
    2.  If you have a problem with someone, deal with THEM personally.
    3.  If you don't know how to deal with them, seek advice - from the
officer most directly involved with the issue, someone who shares your value
system, Appendix A of Corpora, or some combination thereof.
    4.  If you believe someone has broken civil law in mundane life (not at
an event or while performing SCA business) contact civil authorities. (for
SCA-related civil offenses, please also contact SCA officers so they can
coordinate proactively with mundane authorities)
    5. DON'T GOSSIP
    6. DON'T LISTEN TO GOSSIP - Sometimes people slip and say things they
shouldn't. Just because someone you respect says something doesn't make it
fact - everyone can be mislead or misinterpret a situation.  If what they
say worries you, see #'s 2 - 5.
    7. DON'T REPEAT GOSSIP

    As I like to say to potential new Scadians - "The SCA takes all kinds".
This is usually in response to a comment about some horrid person they met
who was in the SCA and made them want to have nothing to do with us.  Yes,
there are all kinds - people you won't like, people who won't like you, and
even really *bad* people who hurt others.   When you encounter these people,
its time to decide what you believe in and stick to it.  My personal value
system does not allow me the luxury of hating them.  Even if I ever claim to
"hate" someone, those close to me know that if that person were to ask me
for even superficial help, I'd probably give it.  But those are my values
and I don't require others to follow them.

    Regardless of values, one behavior is clearly not helpful.  If you take
issue with someone and insist on discussing that issue with someone else who
is not involved, you are part of the problem.  This is called gossip - good
intentions of "protecting" others do not make it not gossip.  Just don't
gossip.  If you slip up and say something you shouldn't, apologize to your
listeners and leave it at that.  If you catch ME doing it - please stop me!
Call me on it!  Please!

    -Muriel the Long Winded




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